Justin Stenstrom, bestselling author, health expert, and speaker, joins our show in this special episode of the Elite Man Podcast! In today’s episode Justin talks about how to be prepared for the
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Justin Stenstrom, bestselling author, health expert, and speaker, joins our show in this special episode of the Elite Man Podcast! In today’s episode Justin talks about how to be prepared for the [Read More...]
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Justin Stenstrom, Elite Man Podcast host, founder of Elite Life Nutrition, and creator of Elite Man Magazine, joins our show in this special episode of the Elite Man Podcast! In today’s episode Justin talks all about cultivating an Elite Mind. He shares his take on what an elite mind really is, where it comes from, how to get it, and what it can do for your life once you do cultivate an elite mind. Justin also talks about his new book Elite Mind and why it will completely change the self-help world and the lives of millions of people. If you’re wondering how to develop your own elite mind and live the life you want, check this episode out now!
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In our episode we go over:
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The ones that are hardest to get are the ones that are most rewarding when you finally do get them. These are the girls who take forever to respond to your texts, change plans on you several times, stop answering your texts, and even stop talking to you for weeks at a time. Just know you are not alone. They do this to everyone, and most guys don’t know how to handle them . . . But I do!
First you must recognize that she may in fact be very busy and have a lot on her plate at the time; i.e. she may be working a ton of hours more at work, she may be getting over her boyfriend whom she recently broke up with, she may be feeling awful lately with some kind of illness, it may be her time of month where she is just moody and doesn’t want to talk to you.
Just like there are days where you don’t feel like going out, and hanging out with girls, there are certainly many days where she feels the same. And it’s just easier for her to not answer your text or your Facebook message, than to explain that she doesn’t feel like talking to guys that day. So don’t get too upset when she doesn’t immediately reply, or if she never replies for that matter. You have to realize that not every girl is going to like you.
The following three strategies are the perfect guide for getting women to respond when all hope is lost. They’re the best-known techniques for dealing with the conundrum of what to do if she doesn’t text back!
Something to try though that has historically worked pretty well for reeling her back in if she doesn’t reply back to a text message is to make a joke out of it. I got this from a close friend of mine who was very clever with his text game. If a girl didn’t answer him, and he was texting her about some plans or asking her a question, after about an hour or so, after he knew she saw it and was just ignoring it, he would say something as simple as “K sounds good lol”. This, or something like “Alright hun that sounds awesome lol”. A simple text like that calls her out in a funny way and shows that it’s not really a big deal to you that she didn’t answer but that it’s more amusing to you. A lot of the time a girl will see this and laugh. And she will usually text back, and either apologize for not texting, or laugh and answer the question from earlier. It’s very simple, but effective.
Another thing that works well, if a girl either stops answering texts, or is taking forever and you don’t know if she is going to reply back, is to call her! That’s right, like the old days, before anyone ever knew what a text message was; use the call feature!
Summon your deep
You’re not alone…
Many guys struggle with what to text a girl and how to communicate effectively with them!
Most guys really have no idea what to do after they get a number.
But in this day and age, it’s absolutely essential that they learn! Women simply won’t give a man the time of day when he doesn’t know what to say in a text message!
Just think about it. You really only have that first interaction with a woman, the time you actually get her number, to give her your best impression. After that, it’s all about the text game, so you really have to master what you say. Any bad slip up or mistake and your potential for a date will slip away forever . . .
And some other guy will take your place!
Use these tips wisely and you’ll notice women responding more favorably to you.
You’ll be getting her to say “Yes” to go on a date with you.
You’ll be getting her laughing and saying how great of a guy you are.
You’ll probably even get her to fall for you completely over text!
It happens all the time.
Trust me, when you figure out exactly how to do it, you’re going to LOVE texting!
I’d like to start off with one of my most important and helpful texting tools . . . yes the smiley face!
When the question of what to text a girl comes up, smiley faces are good in my book. I like to use them here and there just to lighten things up with a woman. Some dating coaches wouldn’t recommend doing this, but I disagree. A proper smiley face can put more meaning to something you text. After all, when you send a text, you don’t really have the luxury of fully expressing yourself through voice tone and changes of body language the way you would in person. So sometimes, when you say something she might take as being serious through text, if you just throw in a smiley face at the end, it can completely change the mood of the text.
For example, if you want to tease a girl but not come across as being too serious, you can say something like “Julie! Where the hell have you been? It’s been forever since I’ve seen you :)” A text like this shows her that you’re inquiring about her and would like to know where she’s been lately. At the same time, though, you’re making a bit of a joke about her not being around, so it’s a good way to ask something semi-seriously while at the same time coming across as playful.
Compare a message like that to “Julie! Where the hell have you been? It’s been forever since I’ve seen you!” This message is a little too serious for a question like that. She’s so much more likely to reply to the first as opposed to the second, which is a little too pressing.
Using “lol” is a similar thing I like to do and recommend. It’s basically the same idea as the smiley face and can also be used to lighten the mood. A good “lol” placed in a text message shows a woman you’re making a joke. It’s not literally meant to mean that you’re “laughing out loud,” but it has transformed more into meaning that you’re joking or find something funny. (The same thing could be said for using “haha” as this is interchangeable with “lol.”)
To lighten the mood again for something that seems serious, you might say to a woman, “Yeah, I just got home from the gym. They had to kick me out because I started lifting up the side of the building lol.” Just saying something ridiculous like this could get a laugh out of her, and the placement of that “lol” at the end of the sentence clearly tells her you’re joking around as opposed to just being weird. Take that “lol” out of the sentence, and it really just comes across as strange. But when you keep it in, it shows that you’re just making a joke out of something boring.
This example is just that, an example. It’s so much easier to come up with your own as this has no context for a real conversation and would be useless if you tried to duplicate it. Just try to understand the usefulness of “lol” here and there. Like anything else, don’t overdo it. Putting “lol” into every sentence, or even every few sentences, makes you look like a half-assed, not-so-funny, would-be comedian!
Instead, use it rather sparingly and interchangeably with the smiley faces. Again, just here or there will do. Otherwise, you’ll come off as trying too hard to be funny and look weak.
Really before even thinking about what to text a girl, timing is perhaps the most import part of any good text game. Timing is the space in between texts that you and she take to reply back to each other’s messages. Most high-status or quality girls have a lot going on in their lives; therefore, they tend to be busy a lot of the time and tend to take longer to reply back to your texts. (It’s either this, or they just want to appear busy and will take their time in replying.)
This is okay. You’ll want to appear as if you’re high status and busy as well and take your time in replying to her, too. It’s the same thing as in person. You don’t want to appear too available as this makes you look needy.
So with that said . . .
If she takes, say, half an hour to reply back to your initial text, and you reply within a minute or two of her response, you come off as very needy. (You also come off as a bit creepy, like you were just staring at your phone like some kind of Fatal Attraction-type character, just waiting for her to answer you, and when she did, you answered her right away.)
I’m telling you right now that, if you do anything resembling this, you will totally creep the woman out. You’ve probably done this before already, thinking that if you didn’t reply to her fast enough, she might lose attraction for you or she might be upset with you because you take too long and that might ruin your chances with her. It’s so common in game.
Come on, admit it, you’ve done this before; everyone has. I’ve made this mistake millions of times. But now I know about timing. Now I take my time in responding to a woman, and by doing so, I create intrigue and interest as well as more attraction. It’s counter-intuitive, but it really works.
A simple rule is to take as long (if not longer) to reply to her texts as she takes to reply to yours. It’s not a rule that should be followed to a tee, but it should be loosely followed, and if done, should put you into an attraction-building position.
I say loosely followed here because you don’t want to always text her eleven minutes after she texts you if she usually takes about ten minutes to text you. If you develop a pattern of taking the same amount of time to text her every time you respond back, she’ll pick up on this and know that you are literally just waiting to text her. It’s nearly as bad as texting her right away.
So mix it up and make it appear more natural. If she is in a pattern of texting you every ten minutes or so, and you have seven texts between you, take 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 8 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes, 5 minutes, 13 minutes.
These texts will make her want you more and more. They’re more of the natural timing texts between friends would be. At the same time, they build interest in you because you’re getting back to her as part of your normal day, unlike most guys who’d text her back right away. During this time, she’ll wonder what you’re doing, why you’re not like all those other guys she talks to, and why you aren’t texting her right away. It works great.
Take your time!
When figuring out what to text a girl it can be tough to take your time texting a woman, especially when you’re really interested in her, and it seems counter-intuitive to think that by waiting (and potentially making her upset) you’re actually making her more interested in you. But it works. If she flips the script and takes forever to get back to you, and you (like I do) get anxious waiting for her reply, just put down your phone and do something fun.
I used to frequently fall into the trap many people these days fall into, and that is that we keep our cell phones with us at all times. We become obsessed with checking our phones every couple of minutes, and we don’t take control of our lives. Instead, we let our cell phones control how we live!
You see it everywhere, from texting and driving to people out on dates, where one person is texting while the other is looking around, bored to death. For me, waiting to hear back from people I had texted made me very restless. I’d look at my phone every minute or so after I had texted a woman to see if she’d replied back yet.
I’d look at my message, make sure it had been sent and had actually gone through. Then I’d check that the phone wasn’t on silent and that the vibrator was on so that I’d know for sure when I did get that text back. And then, several minutes later, I’d go through this whole process again, after having checked my phone several more times and not seeing any new messages.
What I started to do was just put my phone on silent and leave it on my charger, upside down. This way, it would charge, it would be on, and I would get the text message. However, I wouldn’t check my phone on any regular basis; instead, I’d just leave it in my room and go and do something else. This got it out of sight and out of mind for me so that I could focus my time on something more fun or productive.
I’d shoot some hoops, work on business, eat food, work out, play pool, listen to music, write, watch a good television show, listen to a quick self-hypnosis session, or take a shower—anything I would have been doing if I weren’t busy texting! Any of these activities took my mind off what she might be thinking or doing, and I could actually be productive with my time.
I soon started setting aside periods of time throughout the day where I would just put my phone down for a couple of hours, whether or not I was in the midst of talking to a woman, just to give myself a rest from it. If someone called or texted me, I wouldn’t know, so I wouldn’t care. I’d simply check my phone later on for missed calls or messages, when I was ready to have it at hand again.
This was such a great stress relief from everything. I really enjoyed this break from having to worry about getting back to people and I still do it now. In fact, when I’m working, even writing this book, I don’t have my cell phone anywhere near me. And I am able to get so much more done.
A major mistake guys make nowadays when deciding how to text girls is spelling words as if they’re little kids. So many guys do this, and it’s such an obvious yet overlooked mistake. They think that because a text isn’t an official document or source of writing, they do not have to follow the correct grammar rules of the English language!
It’s sort of a bad trend, one that never really went away. I believe it may have come from a lot of teenagers, who made up the vast majority of texters when texting first became popular. Kids spelled words intentionally wrong on platforms such as MySpace, AIM Chat, AOL Messenger, and other social media means.
These habits carried over to text messaging, and as more and more adults started texting, some of them followed a lot of the same routines as the younger generation of texters had. They intentionally misspelled words, perhaps as a way of being cool or as a way of fitting into the social norm that was developed by the younger generation of texters. (This, of course, is all just a personal theory of mine; nonetheless, my hope is that this trend ultimately stops.)
Men wonder why women don’t respond back to texts like “hay hun how r u?” or “I kno it was kewl 2 meet u.” These texts just scream stupidity! They make the person sending them look like a complete idiot. No quality woman is going to respond back to a man who talks like a 12-year-old, barely literate boy!
It’s like going to a professional job interview dressed in a tank-top and gym shorts. You come across as totally beneath her and look like a complete fool. Instead, if you’re talking to an intelligent woman, mirror her intelligence. Show her that you’re just as smart as she is by spelling words correctly and speaking with a good level of sophistication. Don’t try to be pedantic, but be her equal. Speak like her intellectual equivalent. Spell all of your words correctly, and follow good English grammar laws.
On that note, however, you do want to sort of mirror her texting. If she has a certain way of writing and tends to not really care about spelling or punctuation, then it’s okay to slack a little bit on your end and do the same. Mirroring is pretty important in texting.
If you’re a professional writer, and English is her second language, your texts probably won’t click with hers too well. She might not even understand half the things you’re saying and could feel out of place trying to keep up.
Instead, you might lower the bar of text perfection a bit to communicate more effectively with her. If she’s more proficient in the English language than you are, raise the bar, and be as grammatically thorough as possible.
Minor things like punctuation are not as important as the spelling itself. If you’re trying to “speak” a certain way and you want to emphasize something, it’s okay to use three or four exclamation points. If she doesn’t use any punctuation at the end of her sentences, then you don’t really have to use it either. It’s not really a factor at all. At the end of the day, it really all comes down to the way she texts and the way you mirror that.
The following post is a guest contribution by top dating coach and past Elite Man Magazine contributor Hunt Ethridge.
Kumail Nanjiani, the Pakistani-born comedian currently starring in Silicon Valley gave a great commencement speech at his alma mater, Grinnell College. In it he implores, “Have sex with an immigrant. We’re going through a tough time right now, and it would just be really great for morale.”
While this was meant as a joke, it got me thinking that even better than just having sex with one, MARRY one! My wife is from Puerto Rico and though she’s an American citizen, she’s from a completely different culture with different native language. And as Frost said, “That has made all the difference.”
I gathered together some experts in the field to discuss why it’s a great idea to date outside your country or language.
It’s very easy to zone out when talking to someone new or at least not be fully engaged. Especially when you know a lot about where they’re from. Two people that speak different languages, however, get to truly be in the moment when chatting.
“When dating someone from your culture who speaks the same language, often people still don’t understand each other. They may not pay attention and don’t make enough effort to actually listen to and understand the person in front of them. When you date someone who speaks another language, if the chemistry is there, you try your best to understand them, using your whole body and full specter of emotions to express your thoughts. When you date internationally, you can choose the best from each culture and bring it into your relationship, adding new colors and flavors!” – Svetlana Mukha, – international award winning matchmaker and dating coach at diolli.com
In today’s world of globalization, especially in big cities, sticking with your own “tribe” is not only more difficult but it doesn’t help inform you about the world at large.
“International online dating is a useful, global, smart and urban approach to dating. Geographical or communicational restrictions are no longer applicable. International online dating is an instrument that takes the choices people have finding their ideal partner from finite to infinite.Finding love remains to be a top priority for most people, so why not broaden your horizons to make life as rewarding, content and fulfilled as possible.” says Anita Covic , Dating Specialist for AnastasiaDate.com.
Yes, sometimes it’s annoying that we’re expected to work and be reachable by phone and email no matter where we are. However, it also gives us the ability to do our work anywhere. As more businesses embrace telecommuting, the world can be your office! And this of course opens up the possibilities to meeting so many different people.
Arlene Vasquez, a matchmaker and coach explains, “These days so many companies have embraced telecommuting, which is fantastic for singles who are open to finding love anywhere in the world. Having the ability to work from a laptop and an internet connection, singles now have a larger pool of potential pairings especially when they’re willing to venture outside of their neighborhoods. Statistically, the odds of finding someone compatible are much higher than dating only nearby.
As a matchmaker, it’s now more prevalent to collaborate with other matchmakers in different countries. We’re able to match our clients, provided that we focus on some key ingredients for matching couples: core values, personalities, similar life goals and of course physical criteria.”
The most interesting (and in my opinion, the best) people in the world are the ones that are open to, and search out, new experiences and learning opportunities. These are the people that will become our next international leaders!
“Online dating continues to be one of the top ways to screen potential dates and to find a partner with similar interests. Adding the international option into the mix, only widens the dating pool options and it is seen as culturally exciting!” According to Inna Kolchina, Project Manager for AsianDate.com, “U.S men especially are willing to take a leap of faith and experience new and exciting experiences with singles from another country. Of these men, 66% find it’s a way to date new and different types of women and 58% felt it was a good reason to travel or to travel more frequently.”
So there you have it, instead of searching out the same thing you have always been looking for, take a chance and try something different. I think you’ll find it “una gran oportunidad para encontraramor!”