Guys are often left shaking their heads in pure bewilderment when it comes to different aspects of their relationship. Their wives, girlfriends, or partners of some sort or another, just seem to constantly throw curveball after curveball at them, and their left wondering what to do.
Without giving up on their loved ones, they fight back; but this often leads to more stress and even more relationship imbalance.
You see men aren’t schooled in this department of life. We spend years going to grammar school and learning about math, science, history, and multitudes of other important topics, but we never really learn the most important one of all, relationships. Whether it’s the wooing stage, as in dating and attracting women, or the later stage, as in building incredible connections and experienecs together, nobody ever really teaches us the intricacies of a healthy relationship.
But that’s about to change.
As a dating and lifestyle coach I’ve gathered some of my best friends and colleagues in the world to share with you the best relationship advice for men out there! I figure it’s high time someone put together a resource for men to gather some of the best advice on the planet in this subject.
Look, we weren’t taught how to build and cultivate happy and healthy relationships in school, but it’s certainly not too late to learn how to develop these skills now! The aforementioned tips are just what you need. They consist of the very best relationship, dating, and lifestyle experts in the world; all of whom possess incredibly esteemed backgrounds and trackrecords of proven success.
If you’ve ever wanted to learn the foundations for creating fulfilled relationships, check out these 62 tips from these 62 amazing experts!
How To Make Your Lady Feel Secure
We all know there’s a difference between a woman being “insecure” vs being “aware”. When she’s aware, there’s evidence that confirms her suspicion(s) about your behavior. When she’s insecure, there may be only speculation that stems from her lack of stability or ability in herself. Either way, it’s important to acknowledge the things that make your significant other feel insecure by making conscious decisions that affect the relationship. Below are just a few simple tips that can help your lady feel secure in your relationship:
Tip #1 Be Forthcoming With Information
Tip #2 Take The Lock Off Your Phone
Tip #3 Communicate Your Plans For The Future
Tip #4 Eliminate All Female Friends
Cheyenne Bostock is a Life & Relationship Expert & Author of two best selling self-help books. He is the founder of AskCheyB, LLC, a coaching firm that helps people discover their passion and purpose in life, and cultivate healthier relationships. Cheyenne started his coaching firm while living in a homeless shelter in 2011 and now has a following of more than 100,000 supporters who tune in for daily motivation and inspiration online. His work has been featured on Fox 4, ABC7, Arise TV, Huffington Post and he is a regular featured expert on The Bill Cunningham Show.
How to STOP Being Nagged
Whether a man is nagged or not is totally within his control.
Women take no joy in nagging men. The two challenging things a man has to do if he wants to stop being nagged are:
Firstly, be your word, no matter what. If you say you will do something, then do it joyfully, no excuses! When you don’t follow through, you weaken your integrity. She will grow to distrust you. Eventually, she’ll nag you because she doesn’t trust you to mean what you say.
Before you agree to do something, think about whether or not you are willing to do it. You may not have the time to complete the task; you may be agreeing just to keep the peace (which never works); or you may be parroting your father’s old, toxic ‘strategy’ with your mother.
Secondarily, learn how to say No with kindness and mean it. While she may not like it, she will respect your clarity. Making decisions out of the need to be liked, is no way to garner respect of self or others.
Owen Williams has been directing men in developing character for over twenty-five years. In the past he has led men’s groups and retreats as well as co-hosting a successful Radio show called GuyTalk. He is the author of The Relationship Revolution, which highlights the need to take both divorce and misery off the table. Check out Owen’s website relationshipexcellence.com.
Dr. Jennifer Rhodes
Best Relationship Tips for Men
Work to move past your approach anxiety as early in your life as possible. Fortunately, this is a skill that can be easily learned and a good coach will work with you in public to tackle this challenge and build your confidence. You may wish to challenge yourself to start talking to 2 new people per day and increase your goal by at least 20% each week. Soon you will naturally be engaging with others and see new dating and relationship opportunities landing in your lap. I would also practice what to say to a woman who is being rude. Stay classy and be articulate when confronting her behavior.
You might say, “I’m so sorry I’m bothering you! My intention is only to be polite and friendly. I’m sorry if you thought I was looking for more” – and move on. She’ll be left speechless and your confidence will allow you to appear desirable to everyone else around you.
This approach works even better when you are dressed in a manner that reflects your personality and values – do not underestimate how your personal image affects a woman’s impression of you. Use it to go after what you want.
Dr. Jennifer B. Rhodes is a licensed psychologist, personal image & dating consultant, and the founder of Rapport Relationships, a bi-costal relationship consultancy located in New York and San Francisco.
In helping men and women through issues in their relationships for nearly two decades, I have learned to appreciate that there are significant differences between the sexes. Men tend to get frustrated and dismissive toward women if they cannot quickly resolve their issues. A woman needs to connect and share what’s on her mind as part of letting go of things that are affecting her emotionally. A woman wants to vent and process her feelings. This is part of her makeup and fulfills her emotional needs. Men need to recognize this and be patient.
A man should allow a woman to completely express her concerns without feeling that they have to “fix it.” This enables her to feel validated and him to better address her needs. I am not advocating for a man to remain silent and not to provide his feedback. I am stressing that by simply listening to her in an earnest way, he is helping her work through her issues/problems.
Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW is a multilingual individual and couples psychotherapist who has had a private practice in New York City for nearly two decades. She specializes in relationship issues and provides in-person and virtual counseling. Please see Rachel’s website at relationshipsuite.com for more information. Get her FREE audios and lessons to help tame your anger, communicate more effectively and create more intimacy in your relationship.
Relationship Advice For Men
1. Listen Up
Whether she talks a lot or is on the quiet side, ALL women want to be heard. If you’re not the greatest listener, get to work on these skills. First, put away the phone. Second, focus on what she’s saying and how she’s feeling. Third, ask questions to clarify and draw her out. Finally, reflect back on what you’ve heard in your own words. You’ll show her how important she is to you.
2. Open Up
Get real with her and communicate what you want in the relationship. Do you want to date once or twice a week, with benefits or without, spend all your free time with her, mingle the friend groups, or what? Decide what’s right for you and then see if the two of you are on, or at least near, the same page.
3. Man Up
No one wants a mama’s boy. It’s fine to have a close relationship with your mom, but the girlfriend’s got to come first. That means telling her your exciting news before your mom, sharing secrets with her alone, and never giving her reason to think that your mom is more important than she is. Women want a real man, not a boy who looks like one.
Judith Tutin, PhD, ACC, is a licensed psychologist, certified life coach and author of The Post-Divorce Survival Guide. Tools for Your Journey. Connect with her at drjudithtutin.com where you can request a free coaching call to bring more passion, fun and wellness to your life.
Relationship Advice For Men Who Are Dating
Cultivating a romantic relationship with your ideal woman takes more than asking for phone numbers, sending messages online, and planning dates. You must be emotionally available for love, open to the experience of dating, and present during each date.
Dating naturally triggers anxieties and insecurities in both men and women. It is all too easy to get wrapped up in your own anxious thoughts or concerns about the past, present and future, but this actually blocks love.
The best strategy to connect with your date is to be in the moment while you are with her. Here are two tips to support you in mindful, empowered dating:
1. Be present.
Ask her questions and truly listen opposed to prejudging what she will say. Get to know her values, beliefs, goals and dreams by gently taking a deep breath and bringing your mind back to the moment when it wanders.
2. Bring your most confident self on each date and believe that you deserve love.
It is common to experience dating jitters, but focus on embracing your inner confidence and resisting the urge to believe self-critical thoughts. Remember that you attract a great partner through your own self-worth and availability.
Rachel Dack is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC), Nationally Certified Counselor and Relationship Coach, specializing in psychotherapy and dating support services for individuals and couples. Rachel also serves as a Relationship Expert for eHarmony, datingadvice.com, and other dating and relationship advice websites. Learn more about Rachel at RachelDack.com.
My Best Relationship Advice For Men
Most relationships fall apart because of important truths being hidden from each other. Often, hiding things becomes a habit because one or both partners do not react well to the truth, or have shame about their truth.
You can see this play out with cheating, where one partner is abusively accused of being attracted to other people, so they start to hide it to avoid conflict. This repression makes the attraction grow and is fostered by the animosity from their partner, until eventually they stray.
So there’s two angles this must be approached from. Firstly, both of you must be open, vulnerable and directly honest about everything that is happening with each of you. You must use honesty to force yourpartner to accept who you are. If they don’t, leave them, to create space for someone who will. Secondly, both must create an agreement of openness, whereby each will not punish honesty but will work to accept it.
If you can’t be this open and honest with someone, then don’t get into a relationship, because your shame issues will harm both you and the poor person you hook up (who will likely also be psychologically unhealthy). Work on your own self-acceptance and confidence first, then you can go look for someone who enjoys you as you are.
Dan Munro is a Confidence and Authenticity Coach based out of New Zealand, founder of the men’s mastermind community The Brojo, and #1 bestselling author of The Legendary Life.
You’ve gone to all the right places. You’ve said all the right things. And now you got the girl! Before you know it, you’re a proud owner of a cute Pomeranian named ‘Fluffy’ and there are more women’s toiletries in your bathroom than at the Macy’s counter. Congratulations. You’re in a relationship with a woman with whom you want to spend every waking moment for the rest of your life. So how do you sustain it? Just follow these three DON’Ts:
1.DON’T LOSE YOURSELF
Don’t disappear into a couple. Make sure you each retain your own interests and hobbies. Get stuck attached at the hip and you may never find your ego again.
2.DON’T LET YOURSELF GO
If she wanted a baby hippo, she would’ve found one. Just because you have a significant other, does not mean you should stop going to the gym and spend your life in sweats. She liked you put together and fit. Keep it up.
3.DON’T STOP HAVING FUN
There will be plenty of of monotonous humdrum. There will be puppies, children, diapers and chores. Find the time to enjoy each other’s company – whether it’s in a restaurant or a lounge, find time to have fun with each other – just the two of you.
Marina is a founder and CEO of NY Socials; New York’s Premier Elite Members-Only Dating Club. She is regarded as a top Matchmaker and Dating Coach in New York. Her success comes from her belief that dating should be effortless and fun. Therefore, she equips every client with the ability to easily attract a woman of their dreams before introducing them.
Don’t Text. Seriously, if a woman texts you back, still CALL her, you will win her over with making an effort.
Make sure you have reservations, places to go afterwards, a guy with a good date plan, gets the second date!
Women get more nervous that you will not show up, so being there early shows you made the effort and that you are calm and relaxed (instead of apologizing and short winded) when she gets there.
Walk her to her car or make sure she gets into a cab, show interest in her safety.
The sooner the better, since so many people have people “ghost” or “flake” on them, it’s better to show interest these days.
Stef Safran, is “Chicago’s Introductionista” and owner of Stef and the City. She’s a matchmaking and dating expert in Chicago. She’s been in the business for over 14 years, starting with recruiting contestants on “The Dating Game.” She founded Stef and the City in 2009 and have been featured in media outlets such as; the Huffington Post, Chicago Sun-Times, The Chicago Tribune, ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, Fox32 News, ABC7’s “Windy City Live”, WCIU’s “You and Me This Morning,” Time Out Chicago and more!
Take risks and show interest! Forget playing it cool, because when she knows you are interested it sparks interest in her, even when it was never there before. Your interest and attention on her also makes you more attractive, and there is nothing sexier than a man willing to put it on the line to be with us! Nothing.
Most of the time when men & women I work with think the other person knows they are interested/knows how they feel, they really don’t! We’ve all been hurt and we all get doubtful, or think it will go like all the others – to shit.
Avoid “hang out,” “go eat,” “Can I have your number?” – they are ambiguous and its not clear if it’s “just friends.” Instead “I’d like to take you out,” “Want to go on a date?”, “Can I call you?” These are all much better. Be clear and direct. I know, it’s taking a risk. She’s already not going out with you though . . . so whats the worst that could happen?
Dating Expert and Relationship Coach Lesley Edwards is known for helping struggling singles and unfulfilled daters to attract the partner they’ve always wanted, whether they thought it was possible or not. Check out her site marsvenuscoachlesleyedwards.com.
One of the best pieces of relationship advice that I can contribute is “Don’t Settle” for anyone who is not worthy of you. Along with that, it’s imperative that you first of all believe that having your ideal mate is possible. Second of all, believe that you deserve to have your ideal mate. Usually, men find no trouble attracting material things that they want: a house, car, t.v., clothes, tickets to their favorite sporting event, etc.
Where the problem lies in attracting their ideal mate is not having a clear vision of the kind of person that they are attracted to and not settling for anyone that doesn’t fit the description of the woman of their dreams. My suggestion is that you should have the kind of woman you’re looking for very clearly written down in every detail: personality traits, physical attributes as well as religious beliefs if that’s important to you. From there you have a physical manifestation of your ideal mate. She’s no longer just an idea or a desire in your heart. You’ll find that she’ll literally show up in your life.
Jason Wilson is an International Matchmaker, relationship guru, and owner of Speed Dating in Colombia. Check out his website matchmakerjw.com.
The best relationship advice I could give to men today is to be careful of watching too much porn. It could very well be killing the emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship. In my coaching practice, I am seeing a growing number of attractive, young couples who are emotionally disconnected and not having sex.
When I start digging around, it doesn’t take long before one partner mentions porn. It usually goes something like this, “I know all guys watch porn, but it has occurred to me there there might be an addiction.” One female client recently told me that she came home from work to find Post-its covering her face in all of their framed photos. It turned out that her partner had been masturbating to Internet porn and was so embarrassed, he couldn’t look at her.
I know there’s nothing wrong with anyone watching a little porn. However, if you are having a hard time getting aroused by the real woman who’s sleeping next to you in bed and you’re easily turned on by some anonymous woman on your computer screen, then you need to consider that porn might be creating more problems than you think. Studies have shown that dopamine is a key factor in reward-driven learning and that certain addictive drugs—cocaine, amphetamine, and methamphetamine—directly affect the dopamine system. When someone is sexually aroused, the same seven areas of the brain are activated as when doing these drugs.
When a person is exposed to novel stimuli, especially when it’s sexual in nature, it creates an intense dopamine rush that can lead to “arousal addiction.” Because there is an endless array of porn, it is always novel which means it can trigger a bigger surge in dopamine than sex with a familiar partner. Repeated exposure to porn will train the brain to prefer images to a real-life partner.
Having found the love of her life in the early days of online dating. Lisa Shield became one of the first— and foremost—dating and relationship coaches in the nation. Over the years she has helped thousands of couples and singles find true love through a unique approach she calls “Naked” Dating & Relationships. She is currently finishing her book,”Naked Dating®” which is slated for release in 2016. Check out her site lisashield.com.
I’ve learned more about relationships in my personal life than in my professional life, but it’s my duty to apply those things to helping my clients. I think there are 3 keys to having a happy, successful relationship, for men specifically.
The first one is to try every day, without exception. The day you stop trying, you stop caring. That’s the day your relationship dies.
The second is to make your woman feel sexy and wanted. Not only will this help increase your intimacy (and frequency of sex – let’s be real) but it will also help prevent jealousy and insecurities. I can’t walk in the door without my husband cat-calling me, and every day he makes me feel like I’m the sexiest woman on the planet.
The third is to be emotionally available enough to listen when she just needs someone to talk to, and to resist the urge to try to fix the problem. If you’re not sure what she needs when she comes to you, ask her! It shows you care enough to want to be there for her, in whatever capacity she needs. Sometimes we just need a hug. (Man that sounds cheesy.)
Best Relationship Advice For Men
My relationship advice is directed to those men who are in a relationship, are marriage minded, and want this relationship to last for the long haul!
- Make sure that she can count on you!
This alone for a woman to be able to depend on a guy is huge. She needs to know that you will be there for her. If you say you are going to be somewhere, then you show up on time. If you say that you will call- you call. This is how trust is developed over time.
- Show appreciation for the little and big things she does for you.
There are different ways to show appreciation and you better make sure it matches the way she needs love to be expressed to her, be it a verbal affirmation or a big kiss and a hug. The last thing she wants to feel is taken for granted. If that happens, then know that she will be considering her other options in the near future.
- Tell her she’s special and that she is the only one for you (and why!).
Your girlfriend wants to know that you have eyes for her only. She needs to know why you chose to be with her. And she wants to see that you will be loyal to her. Most woman worry that you will tire of them, move on or become unfaithful. By expressing why you are with her, she will feel more secure in the relationship and that you are not going anywhere.
- Demonstrate that she is being included in your future.
Do you talk about taking a vacation together? Are you including her in activities with your friends an family? Is your girlfriend invited to spend time with your family during the holidays? Has she met your parents yet? All these actions demonstrate that you are including her in your future and that she is important to you.
- Be sure you remember her birthday and other important dates with gifts and surprises.
It’s important to remember her birthday and holidays such as Valentine’s Day, Christmas or Hanukah or Kwanza. Women feel special when you make a big deal about these special occasions with an appropriate gift, a romantic dinner or a weekend away together. Don’t forget the flowers and other items (food or meaningful trinket) that she enjoys. Again, this shows her that she’s special to you and worth all the effort. If you need help pulling it together, then seek help. Don’t fall down here or you will be history!
If you follow the above 5 ways to make your girlfriend feel special and cared for, then you are on your way to being the man of her dreams. So when you pop the question, she will surely say, “Yes”!
Amy Schoen specializes in helping marriage-minded people create lifelong relationships and build the family lives they desire. As a Certified Professional Life Coach, Amy combines her life coaching, incredible life experience, and gift for visualization to help clients connect with the Right One to find committed relationships that align with their values, goals, and desire for family. Check out her site motivatedtomarry.com.
In the age of social media, dating websites, and apps, women always say how meaningful it is when men pick up the phone to plan a date, to follow up on a date, or just to chat in the initial courting stage. Also, while it is tempting to choose someone to date based solely on their pictures and information online there is still something to be said for old fashioned dating encounters, sitting across the table from someone and looking into their eyes. Sometimes the best relationships first come from friendships, then best friends, and then falling in love.
As important as having realistic expectations is giving chances, however it is crucial to know your own limit. Too often bad timing will ruin a date. Dating is expensive and time consuming. Getting burnt out and feeling like you are wasting time and money will inevitably wear you down for when the right one comes along.
Lori Salkin works with thousands of singles worldwide and is a head matchmaker and dating coach with www.SawYouatSinai.com, www.YUConnects.com and www.jretromatch.com (an international matchmaker driven database Jewish Dating Service with over 30,000 singles) as well as JBolt, the first dating App with matchmakers.
Don’t spend a lot of time worrying about what you could have done differently or where things are going too early on. You can’t predict where or when or how you’ll meet “the one” but if you don’t take the ups and downs of dating too seriously you can have fun getting there.
Kristina Lynn is one of the top women executives in the Matchmaking industry. She’s the founder of Love Revolution Matchmaking a boutique agency in Los Angeles and FinalMatch.com a universal database used by the top professional Matchmakers in the world to find the best possible match for their clients.
Communication is the most important thing in cultivating a relationship yet women and men sometimes just don’t get what the other is saying. When situations happen often men go into their cave and ponder. Women like to regurgitate verbally what happened. Check out what men can do in order to keep a healthy relationship going.
1. Be attentive
In the courting stage of dating a man is usually very attentive. Over time that attentiveness sometimes gets lost. Make your woman feel loved and cherished. Bring her flowers, surprise her with her favorite candy, compliment her, admire her dress and say things like, “you have a gorgeous smile.”
2. Listen don’t fix
Unfortunately, most women don’t process problems by others giving them a strategy. Many men tend to solve problems by finding and offering solutions. And although the solutions may be sound, women often just want to be heard. So the next time your woman is blurting out her stresses of the day look at her, listen and say, “It sounds like you had a tough day” and follow up with a hug.
3. Resist defending yourself
This is where a man’s ego can get in the way. Instead of listening to what a woman is saying and seeing her point of view, men at times will start to defend themselves. Men often think they are just being attacked, and so they immediately go into a defensive mode. Instead, repeat her position back to her by saying: “So you feel I should spend more time with you.” You’re not necessarily agreeing with her, but she will feel heard.
Overall, take a look at what you can do to keep things alive with your gal and evaluate how you are communicating. You’ll be amazed at how quickly things can change and improve with a few small shifts in the way you talk and respond to her!
Kimberly Seltzer is a Makeover & Confidence Expert, Therapist and Dating Coach based in Los Angeles. She utilizes the unique combined use of therapy, in-field date coaching, NLP and styling to help people with their confidence and dating life. She is a regular contributor to the Huffington Post, DigitalRomance.com, WorldLifeStyle.com and YourTango and is featured in Cosmopolitan Magazine, AskMen, Fox News Magazine, Redbook and Yahoo Shine. Check out Kimberly’s site seltzerstyle.com.
The best relationship advice I can give you is to never stop seducing her. One of the biggest mistakes guys make is to stop being the seducer as soon as a girl calls them her boyfriend. A real seducer knows that the beginning of a relationship is not the end of a seduction. It is just an interstation that craves for a change of playing the game, but the game still remains the same.
Every word, every touch and every kiss is a part of the seduction, no matter if you know her for two days or two decades. The men who ignore this fact are the ones who stop making an effort, who settle down without making settling down worthwhile for the girl they are with. These are the guys who ask themselves “why did she leave me?” while she holds the hand of another man who understands the universal law that the seduction never ends.
Sebastian Harris is a travel enthusiast and a lover of women who has the vision to inspire men all over the world to overcome their fears and to date the women of their dreams. He shares his advice and adventures at globalseducer.com.
Your feelings and opinions count just as much as hers.
Don’t assume she’s right… just because she’s a woman. Men often abdicate their opinions (and feelings) under the false assumption that, “Women know how to handle relationships better than men.” Your thoughts and feelings count. Don’t be afraid to speak up and share your ideas for resolving problems and creating better outcomes.
Learn to master your partner’s emotional control panel.
Each woman has her own control panel of hot buttons (issues that upset her). There’s no need to court unnecessary conflict. Most issues are avoidable. All you have to do is listen, and observe. No, we’re not crazy. There’s a reason for our behavior. We’re always telling you what we want and need. Your job is to hear what we’re saying and help us to achieve the loving harmony we seek with you.
Small, consistent acts of kindness boost your partner’s passion.
Showing appreciation for your partner is like putting Miracle-Gro on her sexual desire for you. She wants to know she’s special. She wants for feel that you value her. Thoughtful words and meaningful actions throughout the day will warm your woman’s heart. And, it’s the recipe for creating fireworks at night.
Susan Winter (Allowing Magnificence and Older Women/Younger Men) is a bestselling author and relationship expert specializing in today’s evolving forms of loving partnership and higher thinking. Check out her site: susanwinter.net
My best relationship advice for men is to accept that relationships are scary. Heck they’re scary for all of us, but to not let that put you off giving them your all. Putting your trust in someone else leaves you open to all kinds of hurt.
No one wants to feel vulnerable like that and it’s definitely easier to build a wall round your heart and not let anyone in too deep to save yourself from getting hurt. But in the end you’re still hurting yourself because you’re also stopping yourself from experiencing life at its best. Embrace the fear, don’t run from it, and enjoy the ride.
Saskia Nelson is the talent behind the award-winning and internationally acclaimed Saturday Night’s Alright, the UK’s coolest dating photography business, specializing in creating dating photos that kick ass and win dates for 100s of single people. She is also the co-founder of Irresistible Dating. She has been credited by Time magazine for kick-starting the genre of dating photography and is recognized as the leading industry expert in the UK & US on all things dating-photo related.
Best Relationship Advice I Have For Men
The best relationship advice I have for men is to understand how important communication is. Problems and cracks can often start to appear between two people when things aren’t being communicated. Often these issues, niggles or situations can be sorted – but only if you are both honest in a way that is respectful to each other. Men should also understand that being listened to is so important for women. If your partner tells you something is bothering them, even if it seems completely unreasonable to you, hear her out and don’t get defensive.
This doesn’t mean doing exactly what she says or not putting your own point of view across, but hearing where she is coming from and responding in a way that she feels acknowledged and respected. And this must be reciprocated of course. This is the best place for solutions and compromises to be reached instead of built up tension and potential arguments.
Also, a relationship is a partnership. You’re part of a team. You each have your own lives and identities (which is so important as a further bit of advice!), but any decisions that impact the relationship should be made together. This will always lead to a much more harmonious relationship!
Laura is a dating and lifestyle coach, writer and speaker specializing in helping guys see the better side of break-ups and heartbreak. Check out her website laurayates.org
A common complaint I hear from women is how their man minimizes their feelings or concerns. Telling her, “It’s not a big deal,” “Just get over it” or “It’ll be ok” can invalidate her experiences. Just because you don’t think it’s a big deal doesn’t mean it’s not a big deal. Understand your woman’s feelings by asking open-ended questions. You don’t have to agree with her, but understanding her perspective will deepen your connection, and increase trust and safety.
Anita Chlipala is a dating & relationship expert and founder of Relationship Reality 312, Inc. She provides national and international date and relationship coaching and therapy and is on a mission to prove that happy and satisfying relationships are possible!
Gentlemen, if you think your lady is special please let her know. One of the biggest complaints I hear from my fellow women in relationships is that they feel unappreciated. The best way to let your lady know that you appreciate her is to tell her and show her. We love hearing that you adore us and appreciate everything we do (and please give some specifics so we know you are noticing everything).
Also, we love when you pay attention to us so when she is speaking to you look into her eyes and maybe touch her hand affectionately. When you tell and show your lady that she is important to you this helps her feel connected to you and will inspire her to want to connect with you in other ways 🙂 May you have much success!
Kevin Alexander helps shy, introverted nice guys finish first with women via the Nice Guy Dating Daily Podcast and blog at niceguydating.ca. His brash, brutally honest yet approachable and comedic style keeps you entertained and informed about how to handle everything from dating to charm to fashion to exercise, making sure you finish first with women. When not on his podcast, you can find him guest blogging on sites such as Digital Romance Inc, SWExperts, and TSB Magazine.
Most of the issues you’ll have with women will be when you’re not being an alpha male. The majority of women, young or older, rich or not so rich, prefer an alpha male. This is how they are wired. This is why you’ll often hear women say, “I want a real man” or “Be a man!”
However, most people think an alpha male is synonymous with jerk. Actually, being alpha means breaking through barriers, being fearless, taking control (of situations, not of women), having a plan and being focused.
This means you contact the woman and ask her out, pick her up if she agrees (don’t ask to meet halfway), choose the restaurant, pay (don’t ask to split the bill) hail a cab, speak up if someone is bothering her, set boundaries and call her out if she’s being disrespectful.
When a woman loses interest, or isn’t interested to begin with, it’s probably because you’re behaving more like a beta male.
To find out more, listen to my podcast on iTunes titled, “How to Attract More Women By Being an Alpha Male. Search “Lucia Podcast”.
Lucia is an internationally known dating/relationship expert and TV personality, author of “Lucia’s Lessons of Love” and “How to Catch a Cougar” and keynote speaker. She’s also the former host of both “The Art of Love” radio and TV shows. Lucia can be reached at theartoflove.net
Sometimes guys get too comfortable in a relationship, and they forget all about the “little things” that made her fall in love in the first place. In most happy, successful relationships it’s a string of small expressions of kindness, respect and romance that often matter the most.
You know, the thoughtful gestures that make her feel valued and loved, such as: holding her hand, kissing her hello, saying “I love you”, pulling her in for a cuddle, complimenting her when she has made an effort to look good (or has been extra friendly to your awful Aunt Peggy) answering her questions, really listening to her, remembering small details about what she likes, saying thank you, and of course, surprising her with a little something special – just because.
Claudia is the creator of Text Weapon, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She is passionate about modern communication and loves helping people improve their relationships through creative texting. To read more by Claudia, visit Text Weapon. Don’t forget to sign up for the FREE Texting Club trial with over 300 messages. You can also hit her up on Twitter.
3 Steps To Becoming A Relationship Warrior
1) Be Brave.
Make peace with your fears and insecurities to diminish their power. When you learn how to manage fear, you become confident in dating and relationships. To overcome fear, empower yourself with knowledge. Become a student of relationships, instead of a victim of them. Study love. Read. Watch. Listen. Find every way you can to learn about how men and women work, so that you can become both a student, and a master of love in your life.
2) Be You.
When fear loses its power, you become unafraid to be yourself. You learn to show up, to be witnessed, and be real in your relationships, because there is nothing to lose, and nothing to be rejected. Rejection takes on new meaning, and it is no longer because there is something inherently wrong, broken, or inadequate within you. There is great power in authenticity.
3) Be Loved.
Once you know how to master fear, and allow yourself to be authentic, your chances of finding love increase exponentially. The walls that stand between you and a relationship will be destroyed, and you can find the freedom that only love can provide.
“I have been a mental health therapist in Denver, Colorado, for over 20 years. I have been a guide for healing and growth for thousands of clients. Because I have been a witness to the transformation of many lives, I can tell you that anything, and everything in your life- your “broken”, your “stuck”, your “absolutely nevers” can all be transformed into the most beautiful light….Promise. This includes your ability to find love.”
Can you remember back to your adolescent raging hormones, obsessive fantasies, and daydreaming about your first, highly anticipated, cataclysmic event – – – owning and driving your first car?
Most pre-teen boys, though not yet sprouting facial hair, somehow have the uncanny ability to nail down every last detail of their dream vehicle. Could it go from zero to sixty in three seconds flat? Would it have 4, 6, or 8 cylinders? How about those coveted rims, 4 wheel lift, doors, panels, and hardware? The list is as endless as the options are available.
So when asked by not teenage boys, but by grown men, “What is the best relationship advice you can give me?” I always respond with what is the simple but often overlooked truth: “Know yourself better than the first car you dreamed of in your youth.”
It’s essential to get to know yourself in every possible way – not just to be a successful single looking to move into a committed relationship, but to be a successful, unique individual mastering the art of being a very cool human being. Excelling in your career, building a legacy, and developing intimate relationships with someone else will always be challenging if you don’t first have a solid knowledge of who you are.
Regardless of your vehicle preferences: Lamborghini, restored Chevy Impala, lifted truck, or perhaps a motorcycle, the wins in life rest on your shoulders. It’s time to get the keys to your desired vehicle and start the journey. The first stop on this trip is to recognize your strengths, needs, abilities and desires.
This awareness will lead you to finding your purpose. Your:
- Purpose tells you what you SHOULD do
- Strengths tell you what you DO best
- Needs dictate what you MUST do
- Abilities tell you what you CAN do
- Desires tell you what you WANT to do.
Once you align your purpose with your needs, abilities, and desires, you’ve got the winning lottery ticket- a life well lived; filled with greater confidence and fulfillment, regardless of what vehicle you drive.
Rita is a Certified Divorce Coach and Singles Relationship Specialist who is results oriented and helps people live more successful, confident, inspired lives. Check out her site opendoorlifecoach.com.
Dr. Wendy Lyon
Are you single and looking? Here are some important tips to remember:
1.Know what you’re looking for.
If you just want to have fun and play, you don’t need to be too picky. But, if you’re ready for a long-term relationship, it’s critical that you choose a partner who is a GREAT match for you.
2.Clarify your deal breakers.
Your sweetie needs to meet ALL your essential relationship requirements so you need to know what they are…and be willing to say NO if even one is missing. Possible requirements might be honesty, passion, want/don’t want children, love nature/animals/sports etc… Whatever is not on your list is negotiable. Get clear on what needs to be there.
If you want to succeed in any area of life, you will get there faster with expert coaching. Let me help you create a life you love with the love of your life! Start with your free True Love Test, free Conscious Dating Webinar and complimentary consultation (see www.DrWendyLyon.com).
Dr. Wendy Lyon is a psychologist, master relationship and life coach, and author of the book Roadmap to Success with Deepak Chopra and Ken Blanchard. Since 1999, she has helped hundreds of individuals and couples to transform their lives and create great relationships.
1) Communication is key.
Nobody is a mind reader and talking is the only way of knowing what’s on someone’s mind. Become aware of her body language as well. If she’s telling you everything is fine, yet her eyes are glaring and her hands are on her hips, you’ll know that it’s not “all good.”
2) Trust is very essential.
If you know you have each other’s back, your relationship will thrive. Don’t lie, cheat, or be dishonest.
3) Say you’re sorry and admit when you’re wrong.
This is a biggie. If your need to be right is more important than your woman’s feelings, you both lose. You’ll both win if you can compromise and see each other’s side.
4) Take care of yourself physically and mentally.
She wants to be with a happy balanced man and if you aren’t, it’ll affect your relationship. Like on an airplane when the oxygen masks drop, you’re always supposed to put it on yourself before placing it on others.
5) Be kind and respectful to each other.
Keep your cell phone out of your relationship.
6) Have fun and stay positive.
She’ll want to be around you if you’re happy and fun to be with.
7) Make time for yourself.
Don’t lose your identity, your friends, or passions.
8) Stay sexual with your partner.
And always make her feel sexy and desirable.
9) Be thoughtful:
With cards, gifts, and small tokens of affection.
10) Remember that fighting is ok, but don’t let issues fester.
You may need to take a time out and when you come back, LISTEN to each other.
Be her best friend. Enough said!
KarenLee Poter currently hosts an Internet talk show, The KarenLee Poter Show, and blog about dating, sex, love, and everything in-between. KarenLee recently published, A Cougar’s Guide To Getting Your Ass Back Out There, a book about her experiences and insights into dating again. Poter is also an expert in large age gap relationships, as she’s been in a committed relationship for the past 7 years with a man several years her junior. The KarenLee Poter Show commands a worldwide audience, receiving nearly 125,000 views per month, and KarenLee’s writing has been featured on multiple blog sites.
Alan Roger Currie
My best relationship advice is never make drastic changes to your personality or behavior for the sole and specific purpose of pleasing and/or accommodating your partner. You will always regret it in the long run.
Similarly, never attempt to motivate your romantic companion or spouse to dramatically change their personality or modify their behavior for the sole and specific purpose of pleasing you or accommodating you. This is a huge ‘no no.’
No marriage or long-term relationship can survive on good sex alone, but that said, you never want to place too little emphasis on sexual enjoyment and satisfaction. Regular, satisfying sex is very important to any long-lasting relationship (especially for men).
Finally, both partners and spouses have to ‘know their role.’ Either the man should be the ‘Alpha’ (i.e., the spouse or partner who is dominate and generally leads the relationship), while the woman is the ‘Beta’ (i.e., the more agreeable, deferential, and submissive partner) … or, if both companions feel like the marriage or relationship would work better if the woman was the ‘Alpha’ and the man was the ‘Beta,’ so be it. Either, or.
No relationship with two ‘Alpha’ types or two ‘Beta’ types will last long-term.
Alan Roger Currie is a professional dating coach and author of ‘Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking’ and ‘Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex’. For more information, visit Currie’s Wikipedia.org page or his website, directapproachdating.com
Since men are by nature visual creatures who tend to be drawn to a woman based soley on the physical attraction and the chemistry he feels with her, many men tend to make poor, long-term dating choices. This type of attraction is understandable and should not be ignored when choosing a partner, but what most men fail to do is combine these biological feelings with what they require in a relationship to make them truly happy.
In my Conscious Dating Program I call these your Non-negotiables or deal-breakers. They are a short list of values (usually about 10) and include such things as: she takes accountability for her actions, she has a warm and giving personality, she thinks about other people’s feelings, she’s ambitious but nurturing, etc.
I’d equate knowing your Non-negotiables to having “Dating X-ray Vision.” Using this list to screen your dates provides you the ability to see if your relationship core values align with hers. Then you can make a conscious decision on whether she’s a catch or someone you may want to avoid.
Women love being surprised. When a man goes out of his way to surprise his partner, he sends a message: I care about you. You are important to me so I want to think of ways to make you happy. You are worth the effort. He gives his significant other a reason to look at him with admiration and he enables her to brag to her girlfriends about how lucky she is to have such an amazing and thoughtful guy (and if she is active on social media, no doubt there will be some accolades there as well!).
The surprise does not have to be expensive, mind you. Sure, a surprise weekend away to Paris will likely get you major points, but the surprise can also be as simple as booking an activity such as a cooking class without her knowledge. It is the act of taking the initiative to plan something creative and fun – and doing it entirely on your own – that lets her know she’s got a keeper.
Marni Kagan is a top matchmaker in New York City. Marni works with accomplished and discerning men of all backgrounds, helping them to meet their life partners. Check out her site sundayatnoon.com
Contemporary relationship for men can be very challenging. For one, the relationships between men and women have radically transformed in the last 50 years with women striving for personal development, and men often unsure of the role to play with women partners. Relationships require new ways of thinking and growing to be sustained and flourishing.
For men, this means developing the skills to be a better and more conscious partner with women. One skill is to be able to listen more deeply. Men can be good at listening to find a solution, to figure out how to act in a given situation. However, there is a kind of listening that is about listening as though each time you listen, you are getting to know your partner for the first time, to appreciate who your partner is, to listen to your partners pain, joy, unhappiness. It is a listening that allows the emotion or personal sharing from influencing you emotionally. It is a listening that requires being present, rather than to feel like you have to fix or solve a problem. In doing this, you offer a continuous sense of friendship to your partner. For an exercise, next time you are with your partner, take a moment to reflect on how you listen to your partner, and consider how you can listen more fully.
Murray Dabby LCSW is a Relationship Coach and long time expert on creating more intimacy in relationship. He is co-founder of thecouplescollege.com where he works with couples in classes and groups to advance their skills, and uses the creative arts to help communicate more effectively through both direct or long distance coaching.
I recently met a man at a business networking party. Knowing what I do for a living, he asked me, “What’s a good line to meet a girl? I mean, I’m usually pretty good at picking up the ladies, but for some reason, it’s not working lately.” I responded by asking, “What’s the energy you think you are putting out there? Forget about what you are saying. What do you think your energy is saying?” He thought about it for a moment, smiled, chuckled a bit, and then said, “Well, I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m just looking to have some fun and maybe hook up with someone.” And there’s the problem.
We human beings have a built in radar. We pick up on body language and we also use our intuition. We all have it…men and women. In this case, these women are simply picking up on his lack of authenticity. He’s not truly being himself. He’s approaching these women from an energy of “what can I get away with?” And these women intuitively know it. We would typically call a guy like this a “player” however, another way to look at it is that he is not behaving in alignment with who he is inside and, what he is really wanting is an activity partner because it is safe. He doesn’t want a relationship simply because he is not yet ready to let some of his walls down.
Laura Menze is the Chief Love Officer at Ready-Match offering a unique and authentic approach to dating and matchmaking in the Denver, Colorado area by vetting clients for their Relationship Readiness, offering a program in Relationship Readiness that ultimately teaches Self-Matching, as well as offering Tru-Match Matchmaking and Relationship Building services for new couples.
Guys, listen up!
Guess how much do you think people typically hear when someone is talking? You’ll be shocked. On average, less than 50% and often as little as 25%–according to recent studies. If you want to impress your partner, listen up.
Whether your partner is asking you to pick up a bottle of wine on the way home, or telling you about their worst day ever—you want to hear them, right? Listen for the message, the underlying meaning, and the emotions attached to the message – it’s not just about the spoken words, it’s about your partner.
Set your intention to do so – “My partner is speaking to me. I am listening.”
Use body language – Prove that you are fully “there” with your partner. Look into their eyes, lean into the conversation, nod.
Be fully present – Give the conversation your undivided attention. Silence your cell phone, turn off the TV, and prioritize the conversation.
Do not interrupt – School yourself not to be planning your “comeback” while your partner is speaking. If you are doing that, you are not listening!
Be intentional about actually hearing what your partner is saying and your understanding and relationships will improve dramatically.
Betty Russell, BCC is a Dating & Relationship Specialist dedicated to providing Singles with solid information, proven dating skills and an attraction plan to find the right partner. She is your guide to being a smart, savvy, effective satisfied single while dating well, and ultimately finding your true love. Check out her site BeFreeToLove.com.
One of the most important anchors in successful relationships is found in the ability to understand and be understood. This builds security and trust for all parties. Often, in dating, this area is fuzzy or shoved aside and replaced with the two popular frontrunners in relationship connection: attraction and chemistry, but they typically lead to a dead end destination. What matters most is found in the power of communication.
Invest in sharing your message thoughtfully, clearly, respectfully (self-respect and respect to the party involved). Seek to be understood, and most importantly, invest in understanding what your partner is trying to share with you. This will build a secure foundation in love, respect and fulfillment for you and the one you love. “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen Covey
Anita Myers is owner of InnerScope Consulting, a certified coaching and consulting practice providing guidance and support in optimizing mental and emotional wellness, personal development, relationship building and maintenance, parenting mentorship, dating preparation and purpose.
Does your job affect your love life? Most health professionals will tell you that you need a healthy balance between your work life and your social life. If you have a very stressful job, you may be out of balance and that can affect your chances for a great love life.
Besides taking up a lot of your time, a highly stressful job can cause mental exhaustion to a point where you would rather relax in front of the TV instead of having a conversation with a real person.
If you are too tired (mentally or physically) to talk, how can you even think about going on a date? This is a sure sign your job is definitely affecting your social life, which obviously affects your love life.
STRAIGHT ADVICE FOR MEN: While climbing the corporate ladder is exciting, you still need some balance in your life. Start with scheduling at least one date each month – even if you are tired. You may find the excitement of meeting a new woman can actually give you more energy for work.
Karen Card is a relationship expert/coach who shares her expertise through coaching, books and seminars. As the author of three relationship books, she has helped clients achieve happier and healthier relationships through her individualized approach to every client. You can reach Karen Card at CoachingForLove.com.
One of the most frequent complaints I hear from single men is how unapproachable women can be. There are many valid reasons why a woman may appear to be frosty toward a guy’s advances – her safety being top of that list – so it’s important for a man to take responsibility and to set her at ease.
Here are some quick tips.
- Be open to who she is (more than what she looks like)
- Ditch your sense of entitlement and your expectations of return
- Be a gentleman
- Consider your approach from a different perspective (hers)
- Be genuine
- Work on your inner game (your self esteem, your beliefs about women and your confidence)
- Work on your outer game (social skills)
- Create a life that makes you happy (your enthusiasm will influence your energy in a positive way)
- Learn to roll with it if your outcomes are not what you wanted.
Linda Maglionico, CPC, founder of AuroraSana Coaching, offers programs that help singles over the age of 40 create a life they love so they can attract extraordinary relationships.
One of the biggest issues I see with men is that they don’t make enough effort to keep their woman feeling loved. In the beginning, they pull out all the stops, but soon the fancy dates, the flowers,and the ” Good Morning Beautiful” texts fade away. Don’t be that guy!
Make sure you give the one you are with the proper time, attention, and affection. Don’t make her question why you aren’t texting back as quickly as you used to or why every date night has turned into “Netflix and Chill”. Don’t be lazy and don’t take her love for granted. If you stop making the effort, she will be tempted to leave your dumb @$$ when she finds someone who will.
Rachel Russo, MS, MFT is a NYC-based Dating & Relationship Expert, Matchmaker, Image Consultant, Author, & Speaker. She knows exactly what men should and shouldn’t do on first dates–because she once went on 92 dates and blogged about them in one year as Ms. New York of 3six5dates.com. Check out her website rachelrusso.com
1. It Starts Non-Verbally
You can get a sense of whether a woman will be receptive to talking with you before walking over. Start by catching her eye and smiling; if she meets your gaze and smiles back, it’s likely an invitation to approach and get to know her better.
2. Find On-Site Conversation-Starters
One of the best inroads to striking up rapport with a stranger is with a relevant, in-the-moment, conversation-worthy topic. If a guy is acting ridiculously off in the distance, you could point to him and say, “Hey, you should really keep your boyfriend on a shorter leash!”
3. Ask Her Opinion
Use relevant cultural trends, current events or personal stories as a way to start a conversation. Asking her opinion is a great way to get the conversation flowing to see if you’re compatible.
4. Be Genuine
The most important element of communication success with women is being genuine. Be yourself! You want her to like you for you anyway, so bring out what’s cool about you as you’re talking and see if she responds. If she doesn’t, she’s probably not a good match anyway.
Jasbina Ahluwalia is a Matchmaker/Dating Coach, Radio Show host & founder of Intersections Match by Jasbina – the only Matchmaking & Online Dating Support Firm in North America & the U.K. for Indian Singles. A finalist in OPRAH’S search for a TV Host, she’s also been featured in the New York Times, San Jose Mercury News, Chicago Tribune, Washington Post & Entrepreneur Magazine.
Whether you’re single and dating or in a serious relationship, one thing holds true: you have to make time for yourself.
When you’re getting to know a woman…and you’re excited about that new romantic adventure…it’s only natural to put all your focus on them. And it’s a good instinct: you’re giving them attention, going out of your way to be a gentleman, and taking a genuine interest in what they’re passionate about.
All of that is good. But if you’re not careful, it’s easy to lose track of yourself—your interests, your passions, your roots.
While women appreciate when you cater to their tastes and make them the center of attention, they also appreciate when you have a life outside of them. After all, it’s probably what attracted them to you in the first place.
If you’re up to your eyeballs in the gooey joy of new love, you might be tempted to spend 100% of your time with her. Fight that urge, and take a mental (and maybe physical) cold shower. Recognize that an occasional night on your own—or with your buddies—could be a great thing for you and your relationship. You’ll feel more grounded, she’ll miss you and want you more, and you’ll keep those fireworks going even longer than you thought possible.
Kyle Ingham is the founder of The Distilled Man, an online community that helps everyday guys become better men. Click here to download his free ebook, 48-Hour Gentleman: Your One-Weekend Plan to More Confidence, Poise, and Manly Know-How.
#1: Do the things you did in the beginning.
Plan surprise dates, leave her sweet notes, tell her she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, and send her flowers for no reason at all. If you were in shape when you first met her, make an effort to stay that way. Often times these things go out the window after the first six months or year (and it’s probably no coincidence that sex starts to become less frequent around the same time).
#2:(Really) listen and empathize with her.
If something in her life has been bothering her, ask her whether she needs your help/advice or just needs a sounding board. If it’s the latter, let her vent without getting frustrated or trying to fix it. Many times, all a woman needs is for you to listen and validate her feelings – it’s really that simple.
#3: Open up to her about anything and everything.
Women love talking about feelings, and when she opens up to you, she’s hoping to get the same in return. The more you share your hopes, dreams, and fears, the more connected she’ll feel to you, and the happier she’ll be in the relationship.
Kristi Allain is a bestselling author, dating coach, and founder of Nailed It! Coaching, where she helps busy singles bring their best and most authentic selves to the table so that they can find, attract, and keep the partner of their dreams. Visit her site at kristiallain.com for more insightful dating advice, and grab her free Date Idea Handbook with 100+ date ideas at kristiallain.com/date-ideas.
There are many misconceptions about dating, especially in recent years where it seems the roles of men and women get more and more blurred each day. We’re moving so fast with countless avenues for meeting people that we are forgetting the basics. Yet, to make a good first impression, simple common courtesy will never go out of style.
Let’s look at 4 key dating questions that men should know the answers to…
1. Is chivalry in or out?
Most definitely and unequivocally in! Women still want men to open doors and pull out chairs. Flowers and chocolate still go a long way towards impressing a women regardless of her age.
2. How much is too much information on a first date?
Dark and mysterious or blithering babbler…find a middle ground that does not include talking about your ex, complaining about your health, going over chapter and verse about who you are, what you do and why. This applies to both disclosing your personal details and being mindful of the questions you ask your date. Remember, you’re both strangers and should be respectful of each other’s privacy.
3. Its 2015, do men still pay?
The answer is, if a women decides to ask out a guy, then she should offer and be prepared to pay. Otherwise, yes, men still pay especially on a first date.
4. Are women as visual as men?
Absolutely! Women look at the details and there is a lot that a man can do to make a great first impression. Starting with good hygiene…women look at teeth, nails, shoes and almost all prefer that if you’ve lost some of your hair, then take it all off–it’s a lot sexier! And for goodness sake, dress for the occasion! Despite our evolution as a fast-paced society, when it comes to dating, some things remain constant—be your best authentic self, and mind your manners!
Arlene Vasquez is a relationship expert, radio & TV guest, speaker, blog and magazine contributor. She has been featured in many media outlets including Cosmo Radio, Project Eve, and Telemundo. Arlene was trained and certified by the Matchmaking Institute in New York City. Check out her website avconnexions.com.
My number 1 tip for men in a relationship is to not lose your path. Stay passionate, stay motivated – keep working, keep hustling, keep growing. A relationship doesn’t mean game over, it just means game different. Women are attracted to passionate, motivated men, and too many men get into a relationship and get complacent.
They stop chasing their dreams, they stop looking after themselves, they stop creating an awesome life – and they lose what it was that the woman was likely attracted to in the first place. What do you want to do with your life? What are you passionate about? What are you interested in? Keep working on those thing. Stay hungry, stay passionate, stay motivated – and stay attractive.
Chris Manak is one of Australia’s most renowned and sought after dating coaches for men. Check out Chris’s pick up artist training here: www.manicworkshops.com
Paul & Layne Cutright
Sooner or later, trust becomes an issue in just about any relationship regardless of roles or gender. For now, let’s look at trust in romantic relationships. Let’s explore the possibilities of intentionally creating trust and rebuilding it if it gets damaged. Both men and women are equally afraid of being controlled, dominated, or betrayed. Do you ever wonder why that is so or how you can avoid this kind of pain?
Real trust is hard won and easily lost. Trust can be whittled away little by little with small transgressions, as in failure to keep promises with no acknowledgment or apology, only excuses; or all at once as in an affair. When trust is gone a relationship begins to die. People end up just going through the motions of being in relationship. Love and connection withers. Emotional connection dries up. Communication suffers, becoming stilted and mechanical, concerned mostly with the logistics of life. Eye contact becomes fleeting and uncomfortable.
Trust is to relationships as gas is to automobiles. You can sit in a car all day long, but if there is no gas in it, you aren’t going anywhere. You can stay in a relationship as long as you want, but if there is no trust in the relationship, it isn’t going to go anywhere, either.
Paul and Layne Cutright have been romantic and creative teaching partners since 1977. They are authors of several books including their bestselling book on enlightened conflict resolution entitled; You’re Never Upset for the Reason You Think. Check ou their website www.paulandlayne.com.
One of the healthiest habits you can build when in a relationship is to get used to doing things for your partner without expecting anything in return. Like seriously, nothing at all. If they’re right for you, they will reciprocate for you when you least expect it.
Make her a mixtape of her favorite Taylor Swift songs. Write her a hand-written love letter and put it somewhere you know she’ll find it. Take her on a surprise picnic to the local park. All this for absolutely no reason, other than seeing a smile on her face as she realizes how much you care for her.
The most important thing is to show that you care. That doesn’t necessarily require a lot of time, money, or grand romantic gestures, just something to show that she is present on your emotional radar.
The greatest relationships are the ones where you can enjoy doing cool things for one another, and not have to worry about “paying each other back.” Why? Because you know deep down they’re going to get you back in an amazing and unexpected way.
Nathan Adlam is the Founding Editor of Social Sage: An Introvert’s Guide to Charm. When not at his day job, he enjoys eating guacamole, playing sports, and shopping at Trader Joe’s. Grab one of his free eBooks here on how to have interesting conversations and how to avoid the friend zone: www.socialsageskills.com
As a Relationship Coach and Psychotherapist for over 15 years, I am privileged to witness all stages relationship development, and honored to share my 7 best tips for dating, relating and mating for a thriving relationship:
1.Fix yourself! Heal unresolved, past, relationship issues, and consciously practice evolving at every stage of a relationship.
2.Know your requirements, needs and wants BEFORE entering into a relationship. It is like having a map to the hidden treasure.
3.Cultivating a relationship is a marathon, not a sprint. Your wedding day is not the finish line! Consciously date your wife, especially after the wedding.
4.Chemistry is intoxicating! Aligned values, NOT chemistry, give the greatest chance for relationship success.
5.Practice intimacy (in-to-me-see)! You will have a deeper, more fulfilling, meaningful relationship with intense love making.
6.Have courage to be vulnerable! Vulnerability will go against your natural instinct, but it is ESSENTIAL in building connection. If vulnerability or intimacy scares you, seek out a Relationship Coach or Psychotherapist.
7.When ending a relationship, have a face-to-face conversation. “Ghosting” (disappearing act) is abandonment! It is cowardly, doesn’t allow for closure, and is wounding (leading to having to “Fix Yourself”- see # 1).
Paige Armstrong, MSW, LCSW, has over 15 years of international and national clinical, program development, and management experience. She has served as psychotherapist, coach, educator and speaker across small to mid- size companies. Over the course of her career, she has successfully fostered recovery for a diversity of populations – at-risk youth, Fortune 500 CEOs, professional athletes, and high achievers. Check out her website www.lifeenrichmentnc.com.
You may think I’m talking about apologizing or telling her she’s right or beautiful or some other externally focused magic phrase. These 5 words are magical but they areinternally focused and they are all about You:
“Remember Who You Really Are”
Breaking this down into it’s component parts:
Remember refers to those times in your life when you are naturally feeling fully competent, confident and happy in the flow of whatever you are doing in that moment. There is no false pretense or acting (or fear) involved. This is who you really are.
Who is how you are choosing to show up in life. How do you want to behave when you are being yourself?
You means who you are being true to in the moment. Is it your Higher or True Self, or is it someone your parents, teachers, ministers, friends, family and society thinks youshould be? You want your love interest to know and love you, not someone you pretend to be.
Really is the biggest word here relating to the truth of your true nature and connection to all that is. When you are conscious of this connection, you are aware of your divinity so you can appreciate the divinity in others. This invokes compassion for yourself and others (absolute chic magnate!).
Are denotes your I AM ness. Your Love.
Create a habit of thinking this thought in your mind before, during, and after your interactions with the woman you want to attract. You will find it effective in all areas of your life, not just this relationship.
Nina Potter coaches partners in relationships to be effective and create Magic in their relationship again. Free report on 5 Things to Stop Doing When Your Relationship is in Trouble at PlayInYourMarriage.com.
Barbara Ann Williams
Confidence. Confidence is key; not just for women, but for men as well. I’m not speaking of a cocky sort of self-assurance, but having a sense of comfort in your own skin and who you are being. When you know who you are, and you are being that person, you will attract similar vibrations in your life. It’s an attractive quality and has a way of drawing attention to you.
Whether you’re looking to be in a relationship or already in one, pay close attention to the man you desire to be and make sure you are being just such a person. Be honest and congruent with who you say you are, and match it with who you appear to be with others. You know how someone says something about you and it makes you feel good deep down inside, because that’s exactly who you feel like you are. That’s being confident and true to who you believe you are. Walk in that. Imagine if this were the case with you and the person you want to be in a relationship with. It makes for a hell of a relationship.
As “The Relationship Coach”, Barbara helps individuals and couples with the tools and skillsets necessary to build and establish a foundation for a lasting, joyful, successful life and loving relationship. Check out Barbara’s site barbaraannwilliams.com.
There is so much advice out there for men and everyone.
Dating rules, how to attract the right person, how to find “Miss Right”, and how to have “Miss Right-Now” – I think it needs to be simplified.
Know who you are, Know what you want, and Be the partner you want in return.
In the search for and maintaining a great relationship keep these things in mind:
- Stay true to yourself- don’t compromise your values to fit hers
- Be confident- all women find this attractive.
- If you like her or love her, tell her.
- Treat her the way you want to be treated.
- Be authentic at all times. If you aren’t, you’ll end up projecting something you aren’t, attracting a person that isn’t right, and yielding a relationship you don’t want.
Melanie Matcek is a credentialed matchmaker, relationship coach, and writer. Her advice and tips have been published in CNN/Money, Shape Magazine, YahooShine, Yahoo, as well as various media outlets in her native state, Texas. She operates as “Heartandsoul-Mates” in San Antonio.
One of the biggest differences between men and women is how we deal with stress. If there is a problem, women want to vent and talk about it. Women are more process oriented than goal oriented. Men are more solution oriented. If there is a problem, men want to focus on it, solve the problem and be done.
Women don’t want the problem necessarily resolved or an answer right away. They need time to talk about it, process it, and think. This gets men very confused and frustrated listening to a women vent. They think we are whining when we vent and if they tell us how to solve the problem, then they expect us to act upon us right away. Men need to understand that sometimes women just need to vent, be acknowledged for their frustration, and then we’re over it. Women need someone who will listen and say “Oh really?”, “uh huh,” “Yes, I can understand why you’re upset”.
So when your lady is stressed, just let her vent. When she starts into it, give her good eye contact, show concern, support and ask her…”Do you want me to listen right now or do you want me to help you solve this?” She will tell you what she wants and you need to stay true to her request. Make sure she has said everything she wants to by asking, “Is there anything else you need to tell me? Do this and you’ll create amazing connections with the women in your life.
Dynamic Speaker, ABC TV Personality and Relationship Coach Val Baldwin’s passion is helping people building sensational relationships for greater success in life. Check out her website valbaldwin.com
Are you a serious gentleman who is ready to experience the ultimate sexual experience inside of matrimony but find it challenging because you keep meeting women who are only after an ear to vent and an expensive meal? I’m sorry to say the independent women’s movement is only on the rise.
Women are more concerned with keeping a sense of freedom then settling down, and they are not being honest when it comes time to reveal their true intentions. You thought men had the player game down? Well, there are some pretty slick women out there who will have a guy go broke before she tells him she is looking for no more than maintenance sex while she plays the field.
Men must be smarter when it comes to their hearts, money, and time. The dating game has changed and to be successful you must change with it.
Let a woman reveal her true intentions on the very first date. Instead of a fancy dinner, take her for a light breakfast such as coffee and a simple pastry. See if potential exists by having her engage with your intellect and not your wallet. If there is interest on both parts then work your way up to the bells and whistles where she will appreciate your efforts more.
Alasha Bennett is The Dating Mechanic. She gives singles the tools to navigate the dating road. For tips on how to date with purpose and success visit datingmechanicsuniversity.com.
Most of us know that men are visual: you are wired that way. My best relationship advice for you is not to be so distracted by looks that you ignore the “character” of your partner (or potential partner.) By character I mean whether the person is kind, considerate, compassionate and loving – and not just when he or she wants something! Is their communication gentle or harsh? How do they ask for what they want? Is it a request or is it a demand?
When you’re dating you can check to see if your values are aligned, but once you are in a committed relationship it can take some information, new skills and practice to co-create a loving partnership. As a relationship coach I help my clients look at the big picture: to feel truly heard and to understand the other. I think the key here is “partnership” which allows each person to be respected and to contribute to the greater good of the relationship and to the world. We have no models for healthy relationships so most people are building the plane as they’re flying it!
Lynn is passionate about healthy relationships. Trained by the Relationship Coaching Institute, her mission is to help singles date more effectively and find the love of their life. She also works with couples to hone their awareness and skills so they can have the happy, healthy and lasting relationship they dream of. Her website is www.lovecoachlynn.com.
Our relationships provide us with a mirror, which reflects back to us who we are. We are given opportunities to learn where we’re not loving ourselves, areas for development and how we show up in life. To significantly enhance your relationship success you must be willing and open to learn and develop relationship skills. Knowing who you are and what you want from and for your life will help you to communicate more effectively and recognize opportunities, people and signs that are in alignment with your vision for your life. It’s also easier to identify when things are not in alignment and you will be in a better position to turn away from them.
Your Relationship Matters
Once you’re in a relationship, don’t make the mistake of thinking your work is complete. Taking your relationship for granted will create all kinds of issues. To ensure your relationship grows and thrives, you must pay close attention to it. Expecting something to flourish without giving it the care and attention it needs, is like planting an orchid, never watering it or tending to it and expecting it to bloom.
Connect with your inner guidance and explore what you truly want for your life, and relationship. Believe you deserve to be with someone who loves you for who you are. Set boundaries and be assertive. Learn to say no to what you don’t want, so you can welcome that which you do want. Learn about Universal Laws to support and nurture your chosen path. Pay attention to what shows up for you. Keep growing and never give up.
Maeve Crawford is a relationship healer and educator. She works with highly successful and motivated, single, professional men and women, who struggle with their relationships. She supports them to heal their painful past and create an open space to let love flourish and thrive in their lives. Check out her site maevecrawford.com.
Many couples in a long-term relationship stop kissing. The long, passionate, erotic kisses you enjoyed at the beginning of your relationship turn into a quick peck on the mouth. Stopping the kiss is one of the first steps towards a sexless relationship.
Therefore, make sure that you keep kissing your partner! The 9-second kiss is a way to ensure that you connect intimately in this way, every day. When you or your partner comes home, make the first contact between the two of you, a kiss – a kiss that lasts for at least 9 seconds – while you closely hug each other. Make it a juicy, sexy and succulent kiss! Through kissing, you connect. Kissing creates desire. It brings you closer to your partner.
On a physiological level, kissing decreases the levels of the ‘stress hormone’ cortisol and increases the levels of oxytocin. Oxytocin is also known as the ‘bonding hormone’ because it is responsible for creating the feelings of bonding, connection, intimacy and trust.
Uta Demontis, Ph.D. is a professional Relationship Coach and Clinical Sexologist. Uta works with men, women and couples who desire to have a fulfilling love and sex life. Check out her site utademontis.com.
Get clear on your relationship readiness and communicate it as clearly (and as early) as possible to your potential partner.
This means be honest with yourself: Is there anything in your life right now that could interfere with the success of a new relationship? A common scenario that I see in my practice is a couple will have a whirlwind romance: feel amazing connection, fall in love…but then the guy starts to pull away or blows hot and cold (he’s interested one week and distant the next). And this might go on for some time before the guy finally admits that he’s not ready for a relationship. This is heartbreaking for both of you because it’s really painful to break up after you’ve become deeply bonded.
This is why it’s so important to have an intention when you enter a relationship and to communicate that intention. It’s okay to want to “just have fun” and not want commitment. But problems happen when you date someone who isn’t in it “just for fun” and who is looking for commitment. When you get clear on your relationship readiness and the kind of relationship that you’re ready for (whether it’s recreational or committed), you dramatically increase your chance of relationship success and happiness.
Melissa Josue at Happyhealthyrelationship.com is a blogger and relationship success coach for singles and couples. She specializes in working with stepmoms-to-be who are struggling with blending families and women who are in a relationship with a single dad or dating divorced or separated man.
Creating a strong personal foundation is the starting point for having successful relationships with others. Whatever degree you have let yourself lose edge of personal growth and learning, commit to recapturing it. Focus your efforts on building your personal effectiveness.
Consider that we all come into this world with corrections and repairs in ourselves to be made. Don’t worry – help and assistance is always there for us when we view a ribbon and big bow on each relationship we have. While at times it may not seem so, each relationship is a gift brought to us deliberately and for a purpose. From each encounter we have with another, we can extract a lesson and when we acknowledge this lesson, we can grow and heal –two major components of reaching fulfillment and happiness in our lives and relationships. The best way to learn is to ask:
Ask people for feedback and work on those areas that make sense to you. Remember, someone else’s opinion of you does not always need to be your reality.
Inquire about other people. If people with whom we associate and surround ourselves are snapshots of us, then learning about them can help us learn about ourselves.
Because having satisfying joyful relationships may require some soul-searching and new approaches, people benefit from the guidance and encouragement from Relationship Expert, Marcy Rich. Marcy is a highly skilled and talented Relationship Coach, Facilitator and Educator who works primarily with single people, couples and families. Marcy’s one on one coaching sessions, group forums and workshops strive to empower people to have better relationships with themselves so they better connect with others.
Let’s assume you’re a man who’s worked hard to become THE MAN your dream girl will want, and you’re READY … but how will you find her?
Your future happiness is at stake here! What should you do?
Please use Internet dating as a LAST resort. While I like it for fun and developing dating expertise, it’s too tedious, misleading, and superficial to be used for finding your life partner.
We all know people who have found love on dating sites. And you might too. But the sheer number of people you have to vet can lead you to settling for the wrong one out of complete exhaustion. It’s also ridiculously easy to be seduced by skin-deep attributes that won’t matter at all long-term. As important as chemistry is, her beautiful smile can also distract you from discovering who she is at heart.
While I encourage you to use every opportunity to meet new people, I’d like to suggest two methods of finding love that are much more reliable:
1. Asking friends to introduce you. These people know you and they know her. This is worth your time.
2. Frequenting places where you’ll find people with your values, interests, and passions. Think religious venues, kayaking, dog parks, book groups, political rallies, or museums. You get the idea. People who share the same values have a natural affinity and respect for each other, the most abiding feature of lasting love.
As a certified Relationship Coach with years of experience, I specialize in helping single, divorced, and widowed adults succeed in opening their hearts to love and finding their ideal partners. Check out my site candacebrindley.com.
Bill and Marianne Oehser
1. Learn to be a good listener. Men and women approach problem solving in very different ways. Men usually put on their “fix it hat” almost immediately and head right for the solution. Women don’t want advice — at least not right away. Being able to talk about whatever happened is therapeutic for them. When a man jumps right into how to fix the problem, a woman feels like she is not being heard. That quickly leads to hurt feelings and often anger. Just listening to what she has to say will go a long way toward actually fixing it.
2. Learn how to turn conflict into a gift. Most of us are so conflict averse we would rather do almost anything to avoid walking directly into the difference. But the feelings that arise from whatever situation created the conflict don’t just go away. They fester and usually pop out unexpectedly at another time often in harmful ways. When two people can calmly and lovingly talk about what happened and reach a mutually satisfying resolution, they will find that their connection to each other deepens and they grow closer together. The key to turning conflict into a gift is to push the pause button when the conflict arises and let your emotions settle down a bit before trying to talk about it.
Bill and Marianne Oehser are Certified Relationship Coaches who help individuals and couples realize the full potential of their relationships. Check out their website between2hearts.com.
If you are looking for a serious relationship, while chemistry is important, it is not the purpose of the first date. Chemistry activates in the brain in the same location as cocaine. Yes… it acts like a drug. One that can blind you from seeing a woman’s red flags as well as areas that will eventually be relationship enders. The first date is about connection. So how do you create that connection? But taking into account who you and she truly are. Screw the facade. It’s time to get real.
Where were you, Where are you, Where are you going? Translation: your past experiences that lead you to where you are now- the strong, better, more ready person who you have evolved to become, and what your goals are – both short and long term.
Have conversations that are substantive. In order to not seem like you are reading your bio or asking them interrogative questions, have conversations in a story telling style. Tell stories about life markers and experiences that shifted your perspective and impacted your personality. If you want a relationship with short term potential, stick with small talk. But if you are truly ready for something real, you’ve got to get real. That is how you will truly connect on a date.
Laurel House is an International Dating Coach, Online Dating Expert, and the author of “Screwing The Rules; The No-Games Guide to Love.” You may seen hear her advice on Good Morning America, Today Show, AskMen.com, The Wall Street Journal, or you may have been one of the 24 million views of her YouTube videos. She is known as “The Man Whisperer.” Check out her site laurelhouse.com.
Wow. The bar has certainly been set high!
61 other experts have just shared some really incredible advice with you. I’m so pleased to have worked with all of these amazing people on putting together such an awesome post!
With that said, let me share with you one last tip for building a strong and powerful relationship with any woman.
My one and only tip is . . . to love yourself!
You truly cannot connect with someone else; I mean fully, wholeheartedly connect with someone else, until you completely and unequivocally connect with yourself first. And you connect with yourself in the highest possible way by loving yourself.
Until you can do this, don’t bother trying to be in a relationship. It will not work out. You cannot love someone else if you don’t even love yourself.
So before looking for love through external sources such as dating women or starting a serious relationship or even taking your sacred, matrimonial vows, look deep within yourself and see if what you see makes you happy. If you are missing something, don’t love yourself, or even hate yourself for some reason, fix this first. Work on becoming your best possible self and striving to improve in whatever it is that doesn’t fulfill you now.
Look in the mirror every day. And improve your life every day. When the day comes that you smile at the reflection you see, a true and loving smile, that is the day you can start looking for someone else to share your love with.
Justin Stenstrom is a nationally acclaimed life coach, author, entrepreneur, and speaker. He is the founder of EliteManMagazine.com, the author of the book Giving Shy Guys Game, and the host of the Elite Man Podcast on iTunes. His mission is to provide men with the best tools to become complete gentleman. Justin is an ordinary guy with an extraordinary hunger for the advancement of today’s gentleman. Once shy, insecure, depressed, and unhappy, Justin’s overcome many of life’s greatest obstacles and loves nothing more than helping other guys do the same! For a complete bio on Justin click here.
That’s all folks!
I hope you enjoyed this post and can take away a lot of helpful tips and advice for your current and future relationships! If you have any comments, questions, or any more tips of your own, please comment below and share them! I’m sure many of our experts will be more than happy to respond back and keep the conversation going! Also, if you love articles like this, sign up for our Elite Man Newsletter and get all of our best articles, podcasts, tips, and advice completely free!