So guys will often ask me “how do I get her to like me?” or “what can I say when I approach so that she talks to me?” and this is actually the problem. These questions alone dictate the completely wrong attitude that a lot of men (and women) carry around with them. They go around being reactive to situations rather than leading them. So rather than asking me “how do I get her to like me?”, instead ask yourself “how can she get me to like her?” Don’t allow her to choose you and decide if you are good enough for her. Become the Chooser and decide if she is good enough for you.
I want you to realize that when you approach a woman you are deciding instantly within the first minute or so, if you like her or not. Notice if you liked the way she actually looks when you got closer to her, if you liked the way she talks, if you liked her appearance or style, if you liked her energy, if you liked her outlook on life, if you liked her attitude, or if you liked her intellect.
All of these things you should be thinking about somewhere in the back of your head. Not consciously, but you will do it without even trying to. And if a lot of things are adding up to you that you usually don’t like about people, then move on to someone else. Guys tend to overlook a lot of things just because a woman is attractive and end up getting stuck in relationships with these same women and hate their guts. Don’t let her looks rule you. If she is an awful person, then find someone else who isn’t. Be willing to let her go even during that first approach if she has a lot of things about her that you really don’t agree with.
This is definitely hard for the newbie. And actually for someone brand new and just starting off with learning dating skills, I would not advise this. I would advise them to talk to everyone for as long as possible and learn from these types of women. As many approaches and as many conversations with as many women as possible is the best recipe for someone who has little experience with women.
But for someone with a little more knowledge, definitely give yourself the respect to just walk away from a conversation that is going nowhere. Don’t stick around and try to please someone who you have no respect for. And don’t try overlooking certain things which would normally make you cringe if said or done by someone less attractive. Become the chooser, not the chosen. Have high value in yourself and be unwavering in this. If she disrespects you then move on. There are so many other quality women out there, do not waste your time on subsidiary ones.
