What Is Value?

Value is talked about a lot in the dating community. It’s one of those “in” words that seems to be used so frequently by so many dating coaches. It’s very important, but I’m not sure it’s ever been clearly defined. So, what is value?

Value is one’s perceived level of social status. Now this can be interpreted many ways, but for our purposes let’s think of it as someone’s illusionary “worth” in society. I say illusionary to make a point that you, me, or anyone else, is really no more or no less worthy or valuable in actuality. This whole concept of value placing on different people, although not particularly flattering, is nonetheless, the way of the world.

As humans, we live in a hierarchal civilization where we place rank and order on people all around us. We are subordinate to some, dominant to others, and we constantly judge and place different people we come across into classifications of either the former or latter based on their perceived value.

Okay, history lesson aside, how does this pertain to the dating arena you ask? Well, women (and men of course regarding women) constantly determine who they choose to date based on the perceived value of the men seeking their affection.

A woman will not be attracted to and or date someone she believes has lesser value than herself. She wants an equal, or someone who she believes has even greater value than she does. It’s human nature.

Thankfully value is not set in stone. Someone is not born with a certain level of value and therefore will have that exact value for their entire life. No, value can be gained, cultivated, refined, and, if not careful, even lost in life.

Money, fame, wealth, celebrity, physical attractiveness, all can play a role in the perceived value of an individual. And if you have one of these you are a little more fortunate in this regard than most (however by no means does this equate to “real” value or worth, nor does it help in finding “true love”- that comes from within).

The above examples are typically out of our immediate control and therefore not worth discussing at this time. However, the factors that are under our control, the ones we can manipulate, and use to our advantage include things such as: having a great personality, being confident, outgoing, funny, positive, nice, friendly, and having many other favorable traits. These are the things that boost your perceived value in the eyes of a woman. These qualities and characteristics can bring your level of value up to where hers is, or perhaps even higher.

By displaying one or many more of these desirable qualities you are in the value getting and cultivating position. This is where you always want to be when it comes to meeting and dating women!

This is all part of having great game. When you have a great level of game, you will automatically have a great level of value, and be very attractive and enticing to the opposite sex. In fact, I posit that this value, the one you can affect, can not only be more “real” and rewarding to you, than say money, fame, or celebrity, but actually more powerful as well. After all, women fall in love with people (i.e. personality, characteristics, traits, qualities, spirit, intelligence, intellect, connection, and all of the other eccentricities that make up who we are), not money, fame, or wealth.

On one final note, be careful not to lose value. The biggest way to lose value in the eyes of a woman is to be needy. Neediness as I’ve talked about before just displays so many bad qualities, the opposite in fact of what we just talked about. Avoid this above all else. Also, try to avoid things like being boring, conventional, predictable, timid, stoic, non-assertive, and insecure. These traits will all destroy whatever value you have built up and spoil whatever chance you may have had with the woman of your fondness!