The night is going awesome, you and this girl you’ve been waiting to take out for a week, are hitting it off and laughing and having so much fun! You are certain that you are going to score by the end of the night.
And then…it starts to get a little boring. She stops laughing as much. You stop having as much fun. The energy starts to die down. And then she says “I have to get going soon, I have to do something early tomorrow morning.”
Oh no! This is it, you blew it! You hate yourself, and you blew it with this girl that you were falling in love with just a short while ago, and now you will never get another crack at her. It’s over. It’s so depressing…But, there is hope!
How To Get Your First Kiss
You didn’t completely blow it, but you do have a lot of work to do. So play it off cool, and pretend like you have to do something too tomorrow and agree that it’s a great idea to call it a night. But before you go, make sure you give her a big, strong hug, and tell her you had a great time with her. But do not, and I mean DO NOT try to force a proverbial end of the night kiss in there.
It comes across as one of the neediest things a guy can do. If you’re feeling each other, meaning you know for a fact she wants to kiss, then go for it. But like most guys, and in most cases, you already lost that opportunity a while ago, and you dragged it out until the very last and worst moment, and now it’s just become awkward.
So like I said give her a big hug, and you can even tease her a bit about something; maybe say what a pathetically weak hug she gives with a smile or laugh, and then let her go first. This is important, it’s the same thing when you kiss a girl, you want to always be the one pulling away first. Kiss her good, or in this case hug her good, but always be in control of the situation. By pulling away first or letting go of her and backing away, you show her that you’re the one leading, not her. You are in charge, and you do whatever you desire. It is very sexy to be in charge, and to lead her.
What You Did Wrong
So let’s first discuss what you did wrong on the date. What happened, which happens all too often on the first date, or first time you hangout is that there was a lot of sexual tension between the two of you, i.e. she was obviously into you because she agreed to meet up with you, and you were obviously into her because you set up the date. Now not to say that she would have had sex with you on the first night, but she definitely would have kissed you. And probably done a lot more too; if you had properly escalated throughout the date.
All humans want to be loved. And girls especially, are very emotional creatures, and feel this desire, in my opinion more than men. She wanted you to escalate on her, whether she turns you down for the kiss or not, she still wants you to go for it. By not going for it, you are subconsciously rejecting her, and making her think there’s something wrong with her. She then manifests all sorts of bad thoughts about you, because of this rejection. She will probably think that you’re a wuss, or that you don’t know what you’re doing, or that you’re just too scared to escalate on her, because after all, she’s not going to hate herself for something you didn’t do. So this falls back in your hands.
Escalation Is Key
When it comes to the question of how to get your first kiss, the first thing that comes to mind is escalation. You must know how to properly escalate. How is this done you ask? It is done the minute you meet up with her in person that first date. You go right up to her and pull her in for a big hug. And if you’re feeling bold enough, kiss her on the cheek, and say “it’s great to see you again ___.”
Why? Because this is what good friends do. They hug each other, and kiss each other on the cheek sometimes. By doing this, you already are setting up the right type of frame. You are telling her, that you are a very affectionate and warm person. You are also telling her that it’s okay to touch you back, and that you will be welcome to it when she does.
So after this, you get back to what you did before, all the joking and laughing, and having a great time, that stuff is all great. Only this time you add in the kinesthetics, or in the dating world, “kino.” Meaning you start touching her, whether it is an “accidental” bump into her, or a high-five after she does something cool. You basically just need to start touching her every chance you get, don’t over-do-it, and become some kind of crazed-groper, but you definitely want to touch her every time you can. This when done right, will make that first kiss so much easier, and so much better, for the both of you.
She will be comfortable with you touching her by the time the kiss comes around, and you will be comfortable going for it. On a final note about escalating, not just to the kiss, but to the grand finale of sex, you need to slowly work your way up from that first hug. You can’t just hug her, and then not touch her in any way, and think she will be willing to suddenly make-out with you. You must build it up.
Building Up To The Kiss
So after that initial hug, you might do some cool handshakes you made up or know with her, or you might play thumb-war with her, or give her another hug after doing something, or playfully slap her arm or shoulder after she says something, or if you’re sitting, touching your feet or knees against each other. Or you can even playfully push her, or playfully smack her butt with something (not recommended for newbies). All while like I said “accidentally”, or “inadvertently” rubbing up against her, or bumping into her, or just somehow connecting your body to hers. This, along with you two laughing, and having a great time together, allows for that first kiss to just be a natural progression to all of these kinesthetics you’ve been doing. So it is actually unnatural to not suddenly kiss her. She is already subconsciously waiting for you to do it, and wants you to.
Take the bait and go in for the kiss, she is willing and ready for you to by now! Just remember, nice and gentle; don’t slip your tongue down her throat right away! She wants to be kissing a man not a frog! If you’d like to learn 4 proven techniques to going for and getting your first kiss, click right here: “Kissing Tips For Guys“!
If you have any comments or questions about how to get your first kiss leave them below.
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