• Home
  • About
  • Elite Man Podcast
  • Elite Life Nutrition
  • YouTube

Elite Man Magazine

Why You Should Not Try To Please Women

May 28, 2015 by Justin Stenstrom Leave a Comment

why-you-should-not-try-to-please-a-woman

The following article is written by our friend Mark Lambert, the founder and head dating coach of Seduce With Personality.

When getting to know a woman many guys turn into becoming the nicest version of themselves, making women gifts, always agreeing with her on any level, and being reluctant to do anything that could give her a bad picture about them.

Ever been in such a situation?
You meet a new girl, you are all excited for more to happen between the two of you, and all you want to do is make sure that she discovers your chocolate (sweet, nice guy) side.

Of course you have.
But here’s why you will dramatically reduce your chances with her if you focus on your chocolate side…

A psychological phenomenom of human nature that can be your best friend or worst enemy

Have you ever met a girl you knew that was with a guy you could not stand? Not because you liked the girl and wanted to be with her all by yourself but because the guy was not treating her well?
I’m sure you have.

Well, if you take a closer look around you and observe the relationships in your circle, you will find that there are several girls with guys who do not lay their chocolate side on them.

Did you ever wonder why these women are with a guy who is not…let’s call it…nice? Or do you think maybe he was nice to her before they got together and once they were a couple he released his other side? Obviously this may apply to some cases, but for the vast majority it does not.

In just a moment I will explain to you what the real reason behind this is, so keep reading. Yet, before, I need to explain to you a phenomenon of human nature that will help you understand many situations with girls in your life, whether they have worked out or not.

We humans are benefit driven and proprietorial. Some more, some less, but the moment a chance presents itself to us AND we know that we can NOT get it easily or at all, we desire to possess it! Just think of the new girlfriend of your neighbor or a close friend, who wanted to be with you some months before, but who you never really found attractive. But now that he’s with her, your tempted to reconsider…

Now why is that?

Did anything change about her? Did she get better in any way?

Of course not.

You just realized that you cannot have her so easily anymore, so now you desire to get her.

Now, what does all of this have to do with not trying to please a woman you like?

If you pull out your best behavior (trying to be too nice), you are very likely to communicate to her with your overall appearance that you want to be with her, but not in the cool and fun way, instead in a way that communicates in her mind I can easily have him if I want to.

And what that means is that you are on the exact opposite side of the phenomenon I just described above. The girl will not have any desire to be with you, because you are just too easy to get and she senses no urge to be with you.

Attraction isn’t affection

Most guys focus on the affection side in a woman. They want a woman to like them. So they do all the things which our mothers, television, and all those romance novels tell us to do: Try to be on your best behavior, compliment her, and act submissive enough so eventually she will reward you with love.

The truth is if you do all that, some women may actually think you are a sweet and nice guy. The bad news though is that they will never want to be with you, because again, they don’t feel an urge to do so. And most other women will just think of you as annoying and clingy and not a real man.

Pulling out your best behavior and trying to please a woman are strategies to trigger her affection for you. However, affection is secondary when it comes to making a woman want you.

Attraction on the other hand is the feeling we sense when we desire something, and many times against any logic. We just feel the urge to have it, so we want it. Whether you show your chocolate (sweet, nice guy) side or not, doesn’t really matter, but what does matter, is this urge.

Be yourself – not your better Ego

On another note, what many guys don’t realize when trying to please women and pulling off their best behavior, is that they come across as exhausting to hang around with. If you try not to make any mistake and wisely choose every word you say and action you do, you are very likely to come across as fake.

Naturality and authenticity are key!

Women simply love guys who don’t care about what others think about them and are not ashamed of communicating their interests, their desires and their true character. I have a friend, who never lies to a woman and never tries to pull off his chocolate side, but instead shows who he is and stands by all his vices, and women feel attracted to him like hell!

Why does it work?
It works because he is not trying to please anyone. Instead he is fully himself and by doing this he is not giving her the picture of being easy to get, but at the same time trying to get her. So he presents himself as a chance to her, and where it’s not in her hand to be with him. And this creates a certain appeal, which makes her desire him.

All he does is use his true character when it comes to communicating with women.
I hope I gave you a little insight today, and I hope you will consider being your true self and not trying to please women going forward!

Mark-LambertMark is an ordinary and regular guy, even by his own admission. But the insights he has about dating and relationships are anything but that. Please check out his website SeduceWithPersonality.com and let us know what you think! We’re sure you will like it.

Filed Under: Dating

About Justin Stenstrom

Justin Stenstrom is an alternative medicine expert, speaker, and bestselling author of Elite Mind. He is the Editor-in-Chief of EliteManMagazine.com, the founder of Elite Life Nutrition, and the host of the Elite Man Podcast, where he interviews some of the best self-help experts in the world, including guests like Robert Greene, Grant Cardone, Dr. John Gray, Bas Rutten, Anthony William, Dorian Yates and many others. Once anxious, insecure, depressed, and unhappy, Justin’s overcome many of life’s greatest obstacles and loves nothing more than helping others do the same! For a complete bio on Justin click here.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Most Popular

How To Heal Yourself From Any Sickness – Anthony William, The Medical Medium (Ep. 282)

anthony william the medical medium

Anthony William the Medical Medium, #1 New York Times best-selling author of Medical Medium, Life-Changing Foods, Thyroid Healing, Liver Rescue, and Celery [Read More...]

https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/traffic.libsyn.com/secure/gsggpodcast/Anthony_William_The_Medical_Medium_-_Elite_Man_Podcast_-_Episode_282_-_Justin_Stenstrom_-_6-30-2020.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

How To Unlock The True Power And Possibility In Your Life By Tapping Into Your Hidden Potential – Panache Desai (Ep. 273)

Panache Desai

Panache Desai, spiritual thought leader, teacher of life mastery and personal development, vibrational catalyst, author and inspirational speaker, joins our show in this special episode of the Elite Man Podcast! In today’s episode Panache talks about his new book and the profound concept that You Are Enough. He talks about unlocking your true potential by reprogramming your subconscious mind and getting over past traumas and failures that have hindered your success and happiness today. Panache also talks about mastering your feelings and emotions, not from a mental technique or process, but from an internal one, embracing your heart and soul. If you’re wondering how to take control of your emotions, feelings, success, and life, check this episode out now!

*Download this episode now and subscribe to our channel to get more of these amazing interviews!

In our episode we go over:

  • Why Panache Desai focuses on changing the energy of people to change their lives
  • Panache’s spiritual upbringing and why

[Read More...]

http://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/traffic.libsyn.com/gsggpodcast/Panache_Desai_-_Elite_Man_Podcast_-_Episode_273_-_Justin_Stenstrom_-_4-28-2020.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Confessions Of A Mob Boss: How One Of The Richest And Most Notorious Gangsters In History Survived Prison, Criminal Rivals, And Leaving The Mafia – Michael Franzese (Ep. 244)

michael franzese

Michael Franzese, former mob boss of the Colombo crime family in New York who at his most affluent time generated between $5 to $10 million per week from his legal and illegal businesses, joins our show in this special episode of the Elite Man Podcast! In today’s episode Michael talks about his many years spent inside the Colombo crime family, what he did to get in, how he shot his way to the top, and how he made so much more money than everyone else. He covers his sit-downs with bosses like John Gotti, his gas tax fraud which netted him multi-millions every week, his careful strategy to avoid being caught by the police, and the truths and lies about the mob in America. Michael also talks about leaving the life, why his life changed for the better the day he quit, and what he’s been doing the past few years. If you’re wondering what the mafia is really like, what the gangsters from the movie Goodfellas were actually like, what really happened to Jimmy Hoffa and JFK, and so many other inside stories about the Italian mob, check this episode out now!

*Download this episode now and subscribe to our channel to get more of these amazing interviews!

In our episode we go over:

  • How Michael became a part of

[Read More...]

http://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/traffic.libsyn.com/gsggpodcast/Michael_Franzese_-_Elite_Man_Podcast_-_Episode_244_-_Justin_Stenstrom_-_10-8-19.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

How To Finally Unlock Your Financial Potential, Make Ridiculous Amounts Of Money, And Live The Life You Want – Dan Lok (Ep. 233)

Dan Lock

Dan Lok, Chinese-Canadian business magnate, global educator, bestselling author of the book F.U. Money, and The King of High-Ticket Sales™, joins our show in this special episode of the Elite Man Podcast! In today’s episode Dan talks about how he was able to become a self-made multi-millionaire after having over a dozen failed online businesses in his early career. He shares the key lessons he’s learned over the years about self-branding, charging a premium price, growing a massive following, and creating a vastly wealthy empire. Dan covers everything from social media, to high ticket sales, to finding great mentors, to building and scaling your net worth. If you’re wondering how to finally make as much money as you’ve always wanted and live the life you’ve always wanted, check this episode out now!

*Download this episode now and subscribe to our channel to get more of these amazing interviews!

In our episode we go over:

  • How Dan and I met a few years back and how he stole

[Read More...]

http://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/traffic.libsyn.com/gsggpodcast/Dan_Lock_-_Elite_Man_Podcast_-_Episode_233_-_Justin_Stenstrom_-_date_7-23-19.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

How To Follow Your Dreams, Stay Motivated, And Find Unbelievable Success Doing What You Love – Paige Hathaway (Ep. 224)

paige hathaway

Paige Hathaway, global fitness icon, entrepreneur, and social media star with over 11 million followers, joins our show in this special episode of the Elite Man Podcast! In today’s episode Paige talks about her early years grinding away and outworking everyone else to try to make her dreams of being a fitness icon a reality. She covers the hustle that it took, the various strategies she employed, and the multitude of actions she implemented to separate herself from all the other aspiring fitness experts. Paige also dives into her remarkable social media growth, her ability to pioneer a new genre of fitness for women, and her incredible entrepreneurial success over the past few years. If you’re wondering how to go after your own dreams, dedicate yourself to your craft, and find unbelievable success in something you truly love, check this episode out now!

*Download this episode now and subscribe to our channel to get more of these amazing interviews!

In our episode we go over:

  • How

[Read More...]

http://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/traffic.libsyn.com/gsggpodcast/Paige_Hathaway_-_Elite_Man_Podcast_-_Episode_224_-_Justin_Stenstrom_-_5-21-19.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Recent Podcasts

dr-katelyn-lehman

How To Heal Your Mind And Body Using Energy, Frequency, And Vibration – Dr. Katelyn Lehman (Ep. 375)

marc washington

How To Supercharge Your Gut And Optimize Your Health – Marc Washington (Ep. 374)

prince ea

How To Find True Happiness And Success Without Chasing It – Prince EA (Ep. 373)

More Recent Podcasts

Connect With Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

About

  • Justin Stenstrom
  • Online Coaching Application
  • Privacy
  • Terms of Use

Contact

  • Email Justin Stenstrom
  • Online Coaching Application

Products

  • Books
  • Supplements
  • Store
  • Online Coaching Application

Connect With Us

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

Newsletter

Copyright © 2020. EliteManMagazine.com. All Rights Reserved.