I recently came across a post on Reddit where one of the men asked a question that got me thinking. It was a great question and I wanted to share my response to it here. He asked:
“Do you think similar personalities attract when it comes to introverts and extroverts? Maybe it’s a sign of my insecurity but I tend to think that women who are less secure about themselves will be more attracted to shy men. I tend to think I stand more of a chance with them.
And what about men who seem insecure? I know women generally like confident guys, but do any women out there find a bit of insecurity attractive?”
Here is my response:
“I think to an extent that similar personalities do attract one another. However, being an introvert and being an extrovert doesn’t necessarily define someone’s personality. I’m naturally introverted myself so I know exactly where your coming from here. However, I believe that women whether extroverted or introverted can be attracted to either type. Guys as well can be attracted to extroverted (outgoing) women but also more introverted (shy or quiet) women. It comes down to the overall personality (characteristics, beliefs, values, traits, behaviors, and all of the remaining idiosyncrasies) of the person, not whether or not they are introverted or extroverted.
Being an introvert can play a small role in the personality of a person, but it does not define a person’s overall make-up; not by any stretch of the imagination.
Also, the most important thing is whether or not there is a connection or some sort of chemistry between two people. If there is, this trumps all. That’s why there are so many people who seem to be complete opposites in so many aspects of life who end up being together for life. The saying “opposites attract” can definitely be applied in these cases; because if chemistry exists, it transcends everything. It’s like magic, and all the rules get thrown out the window.
Perhaps a small percentage of insecure women will try to go for shy men, thinking the shy guys are more like them. However, I disagree entirely with the belief that shy=insecure. It does not. Shy usually just equals introverted. You can be naturally introverted or shy in life and at the same time be completely confident in yourself. I am, and I teach guys this everyday!
To answer your final point: Being insecure is not attractive. This should not be something to strive for or think is okay, because it will only hurt your chances. Again, being quiet, shy, or introverted is perfectly okay and can be attractive to many (especially if you’re comfortable in being this way), but being insecure is the worst possible thing you can be! It screams desperation, neediness, and apprehension.
Hope this helped, good luck and keep at it!
This was a great question and I believe that many guys have this belief that confident women only like extroverted, loud guys, and that insecure women like quiet, shy guys. But it’s just not true. Again let me reiterate a few very important points. For one, shy does not equal insecure. Shy just equals introverted (what 50% of the human population actually is). Also, extroverted does not equal confident. There are plenty of people who are extroverted and completely insecure with themselves. And finally, introverts and extroverts are attracted to each other just as much as anyone else, despite their inclinations of being outgoing or not. It does not matter.
Just be confident in who you are. No matter if you are the loudest, most outgoing person around, or if you are very quiet and like to keep to yourself most of the time. You can be confident, quiet, and still get any woman you want!
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