In life you encounter adversity everywhere you go. It is not easy to survive and prosper in this day in age or in any time throughout history for that matter. Life is just plain hard at times. Just realizing this fact can be discouraging. Just realizing what a struggle life can be can cause you to doubt yourself. But to get confidence in yourself and to gain control of your life you have to keep pushing yourself. You can actually gain solace in the fact that you have the power within you to overcome any obstacle that life throws your way.
Getting confidence in anything you do can actually be easier than you might think. Confidence isn’t just an emotion you can summon up out of nowhere when dealing with hardship. It’s not as simple as say: wanting to smile, and then smiling. However, confidence can be gained in anything by the actions that you consciously take after facing adversity. It all comes down to how you deal with a problem facing you, whether or not you can gain confidence from it. If you face the problem head on, and actually challenge the problem and fight it directly, then you will find that self-assurance will slowly arise from within you.
Just this simple action of not backing down, but actually staying in the pocket and at least making your best attempt at attacking the problem, can give you tremendous confidence in whatever you are doing. Whether you actually fail or succeed at whatever you are trying to do is really irrelevant. You still gain confidence from the experience knowing that you did your best, and did not run away or try to hide from the trouble. It’s like your body rewards you for standing up for yourself and giving your best effort.
I teach this concept to guys trying to learn game all the time. You can almost think of yourself as being a lion tamer. When a tamer first starts to work with the deadliest wild animal alive, he must be pretty scared. He may even doubt himself even if he has been doing it for years. Each and every time he meets a new lion, there has to be a tremendous level of fear running through him. However he doesn’t back down and show his fear. He stays in there and shows his skill and his dominance over the lion. And just by simply not backing down, he gains confidence as the lion starts to listen to him, and follow his lead.
Now I’m sure you understand the comparison by now to meeting women. Not to say that women pose any real harm to men when you first approach them. But to some men they have a very strong and very real fear, and perhaps would even rather tame a lion than talk to a woman. Men are very nervous at first, but if they just hang in there, and keep trying to do what they have been working on, a confidence starts to build within them. The longer the conversation lasts, the more confidence they gain. And the more conversations they have over time, the more confidence they build for themselves overall. So hang in there guys and it will only get easier for you. You will gain confidence simply by trying and not giving up on yourself.