Some girls are, and always will be hard to get. Even if they are not the most attractive girl in the room, they are still very high status and good at playing the game. These are my favorite girls.
The ones that are hardest to get are the ones that are most rewarding when you finally do get them. These are the girls who take forever to respond to your texts, change plans on you several times, stop answering your texts, and even stop talking to you for weeks at a time. Just know you are not alone. They do this to everyone, and most guys don’t know how to handle them . . . But I do!
First you must recognize that she may in fact be very busy and have a lot on her plate at the time; i.e. she may be working a ton of hours more at work, she may be getting over her boyfriend whom she recently broke up with, she may be feeling awful lately with some kind of illness, it may be her time of month where she is just moody and doesn’t want to talk to you.
Just like there are days where you don’t feel like going out, and hanging out with girls, there are certainly many days where she feels the same. And it’s just easier for her to not answer your text or your Facebook message, than to explain that she doesn’t feel like talking to guys that day. So don’t get too upset when she doesn’t immediately reply, or if she never replies for that matter. You have to realize that not every girl is going to like you.
The following three strategies are the perfect guide for getting women to respond when all hope is lost. They’re the best-known techniques for dealing with the conundrum of what to do if she doesn’t text back!
Something to try though that has historically worked pretty well for reeling her back in if she doesn’t reply back to a text message is to make a joke out of it. I got this from a close friend of mine who was very clever with his text game. If a girl didn’t answer him, and he was texting her about some plans or asking her a question, after about an hour or so, after he knew she saw it and was just ignoring it, he would say something as simple as “K sounds good lol”. This, or something like “Alright hun that sounds awesome lol”. A simple text like that calls her out in a funny way and shows that it’s not really a big deal to you that she didn’t answer but that it’s more amusing to you. A lot of the time a girl will see this and laugh. And she will usually text back, and either apologize for not texting, or laugh and answer the question from earlier. It’s very simple, but effective.
Another thing that works well, if a girl either stops answering texts, or is taking forever and you don’t know if she is going to reply back, is to call her! That’s right, like the old days, before anyone ever knew what a text message was; use the call feature!
Summon your deep inner, manly voice, and call her up!
Two things can either happen. She can either pick up the phone, which would obviously solve your problem (though not really that likely), or more probably, you will get her voicemail, and you will leave her a cool message. This is very important, you must leave her a fun, exciting, and powerful voicemail, not some lame, weak-hearted voicemail about why she is not answering you. Say something like “What’s up kiddo! I was just driving so I couldn’t text…but yeah, I just saw the funniest thing ever that reminded me of you. Let me know when get this; you’re going to laugh your ass off, later!” Now this of course, is not applicable to every scenario, but you get the message. Something that engages her, something that could be funny if done correctly, and something that is not needy.
The final thing, and usually the last resort, depending on if you use it before the voicemail technique or not, is to challenge her to hang out with you. This is done via text. And this is done usually after she has flaked on you, or if you just haven’t been able to get together for one reason or another after trying for some time. What you do is send a re-initiating text message like “Sup sweetheart…Are you gonna’ hang out this week or are you gonna keep being a dink”. Now, before you laugh, this is actually more intricate than meets the eye. It does a few things all at once.
For one, it obviously calls her out on not being able to hang out with you yet. For two, it most likely offends her in a comical, teasing way, and shows her that you’re not afraid to say something like this to her. But thirdly, and most importantly, it challenges her and almost dares her to reply back to prove to you that she’s not a “dink,” or whatever inflammatory synonym you can replace this with; like a stiff, a square, a loser, a bum – personally I like to use the word “dink” because it’s the funniest to me.
Texts like these are great for qualifying a woman, and getting her to prove that she isn’t as bad as she’s been acting. That she is cool enough to hang out with you, and will do so just to prove it to you.
That’s it. Follow this guide next time a woman doesn’t text back and you will see much more success in the future! Also sign up for my kickass Elite Man Newsletter and get my brand-new 41 Rules To Dating Mastery ebook completely free!
And finally, if you liked this article check out my best-selling book Giving Shy Guys Game on Amazon. Giving Shy Guys Game is the most comprehensive dating advice book ever created for men. It’s a step-by-step guide to dating mastery, and covers everything from texting, to approaching, to setting up dates, to building attraction, and even having sex.
If you want to master your text game and your dating life this is the one book to get. Don’t wait, every day that goes by is a day that you could spend with that beautiful girl you’ve been trying to get!
Hey I’ve been dating the woman 4 months we really hit off since then , but we got into an argument, because I thought she was checking out another male , and it got me upset and we had a really big argument, she said i was jealous but I wasn’t it just look like she was , but I apologize to her she for gave me but after the argument I tried calling her and texting her but she been ignoring for about week and she delete me off Instagram I just don’t know what to do I really do miss her
Justin Stenstrom says
I’d try leaving it alone for a month and then circling back and trying again. When you text/call back just be casual like it never happened. It’s a long shot, but it may work. Good luck. And if it doesn’t work, be prepared to move on. A woman who acts like that over something so small is nothing to stress over 🙂
Just wanna ask a quick question..
There is a girl i like and last yr i think she like me but im not sure now but we were chatting just fine yesterday and tdy i just said gd morning and she ignored but ik she saw it what should i do?
And btw…yea we are bot really rhat close and its always me who start the convo and tell her ehat happened in my ljfe recently
Justin Stenstrom says
Try Strategy 1 or 2 listed above or join our Facebook Group to get great feedback on questions like this. Or feel free to email me at email@example.com if you’re interested in coaching. Our Facebook Group is called the “Elite Man Mastermind”. Search it in the searchbar and request to join.
If a woman makes a big deal over something minute, it just means shes using the issue as an excuse ro dump you.
Hey I know a girl that I liked and I’m sure she liked me as well. Last week there were people spreading rumors an staff about me an her that we are dating and stuff and she told me she didn’t want anyone to know that we were talking. She keeps on sending pictures and selfies yesterday, but today she really isn’t responding to my text messages as much as before either short answers or nothing at all.
Can you please help me
Hey I just got this waitresses number last night. I texted her acouple hours later with the usual hey it’s Me the guy who you met at the restaurant, not exactly that but it’s been a day and she hasn’t answered what should I do?
I’m experiencing a similar situation. I know she received the message because we both have iPhones and it says delivered. I’ve never been faced with this before.
From a book I’ve read, you basically messed up with her my mans. Not trying to sound condescending, but you calling her out for peeping at a guy just shows in her eyes how weak you were with the way you reacted. Your actions just showed her you were scared of losing her, which was a bad way to go. The way a alpha male would handle that situation is a simple “Aye it’s her fucking loss” and continue the date and never contact her again after that date. Make her figure out what she did wrong by not hearing from you. Mind you again that’s not me coming at you, this is just info I took from this online dating coach.
P.S- If your date is looking at another guy. That should be a signal that she may not be good girlfriend material.
Alexandre bzemmo says
I am just having a bery tough time in making my ex talk to me lol. She never replies.
It’s been almost a month and things ended up really bad.
So i texted her this, but never got an answer.
Imagine we’re on a Saturday and we are on our way to Jezzine . Blue Jay specifically. On our way we passed by Charcutier and bought our avocado, mango, iceberg, honey mustard sauce. We bought our gin and a few cans of tonic. Meat. And our famous puck.
Imagine we’re there and we started playing our games. The games of truth or dare. The games of asking each others questions.
Imagine we are preparing dinner together like the one on my birthday. And you playing thr guitar. And i am singing love story.
Imagine you are doing all of this with me but even a better version of me. Someone whom understood you now. Who understand how u think. How u behave and why u do it. Someone whom understood his flaws and worked on them since day 2 when he stopped seeing you.
Imagine how waking up the second day in the same bed will feel. Holding into each other but this time even tighter.
Just imagine how that felt like, feels like, or will feel like.
That was 2 days ago. And then in the morning i said that i sent this text when i was drunk. But still no amswer. She’s probably moved on and i was being really needy. She’s winning now. And i don’t want her to win. What can i do.
Dude, your # 1 and 3 worked. I love it. Hope now i can learn to close the deal since she responded back
Thank you so much for your stategies.
Justin Stenstrom says
No problem man! Glad it helped 🙂
Hey I have a problem as well. We’ve been on 3 dates and the 4th one she canceled because of a birthday party. I noticed each date, I have to put my foot down and tell her “Are we still hanging out or?” OR I would say “I guess we aren’t going out” This always made her reply and say how she’s sorry and give an excuse. This morning I
asked her if she’s interested to go shopping this upcoming Saturday. No reply and it’s 11 o clock pm. She hates texting and she went out with her friend. STILL I’m asking for a question to be answered Adnan she’s not answering it and it’s been all day with no reply. What can I do ? Because I’m tired outfit always using the 3rd rule. Can I just tell her in a polite and respectful way the next day that this needs to stop ?
Also, we did went out on those 3 dates, they were great. And on Snapchat we have a great time as well sending hearts and kisses and teasing our faces. We’ve called twice. Anyways I had to text her twice for if we still went out or else the day or the event would pass lol….
Justin Stenstrom says
Yeah I would tell her…
Try your hardest not to sound needy or too upset though.
You really have to be fucking cool about this or she will be turned off fast.
It’s either this, or wait until you two build up a good rapport, i.e. start dating or sleeping together and then something like this can be more easily brought up.
Good luck either way!
Ian kamau says
Ok dude, ur awesome these strategies are gold. THANKYOUUUU!!
Justin Stenstrom says
Thanks man! I appreciate it! 🙂
I matched with a girl on Tinder while in another country. I’m back home now, but visiting again in a couple of months. Matched on the day I was leaving so couldn’t meet. We switched to chatting on Instagram and had a couple of days of good, light hearted conversation. Since then received nothing back. Seemed out of the blue because she used to apologise if she took more than an hour to reply, which I didn’t mind at all. But now haven’t heard in a couple of days.
Justin Stenstrom says
Sorry to hear Tommy. Dating is a numbers game. The more numbers you have, the more matches on Tinder you get, etc. the better your chances are going to be of meeting a high quality woman. I can only suggest to keep plugging away and meeting as many women as possible. Just because this one girl flaked, it has nothing to do with who you are as a person or how your character is as a man. Women have all sorts of shit going on in their lives, and you really can’t assume anything based off the little that you knew of her. But quite honestly, the only thing we can assume at this point, is that she doesn’t really know you and so therefore can’t reject you as a person. Keep your head up, try these tips, and if it doesn’t work, keep meeting women dude! Good luck and all the best.
Similar situation but very weird . I have been dating this girl for two months , since I known her she spent one Saturday with me and literally disappears every Saturday hard to get in touch always ridiculous excuses like my phone fell in toilet etc she has 3 year old she moved in with me a week ago since her roommate bailed out on her . I just can’t understand the logic why is she like that , I do have strong feeling for her . On other hand when she is with me she can be away from her phone for split second , please advise how should I behave .
Justin Stenstrom says
Waqi, I hate to say it man but it sounds like she is cheating on you or being very sketchy at the very least. She is hiding something, and most likely something she really doesn’t want you to know about. If I were you I would have a serious talk with her and outline your concerns about her behavior. If she tells you the truth, then great, but if she doesn’t and she continues to be sketchy, move on and find someone else. Good luck brother and all the best!
Hello david, im into that same situation too, my girlfriend is always on line but doesn’t sends me a message on instagram so what i did was i sent her wallpaper with a message, shes always online but not with me, after that she didnt responded to all my mesages, since sunday up to now, thursday evening, she just keeps on seeing it. What should i do?
Hey Justin not sure what to do with this girl i met. We started talking over the phone for over a month. We would talk for hours and I finally met her and I thought everything was great but when I left she said she just didn’t feel it I don’t understand when this girl told me everything and we had so much fun. Now it’s only been a week but no response from her at all. I’m not going to push this on her but I’m confused
Justin Stenstrom says
I’m sorry to hear that man. Honestly, the best advice I could give though would be to take this as a lesson learned. Sometimes, it’s just not meant to be and sometimes people feel differently in person as opposed to texting, or messaging online, or talking on the phone. It sucks, but even after trying all of these tips above, it’s just not going to work with everyone. I can tell you this, however… as much as this girl may sting, I can GUARANTEE you there will be other girls in your future, and other ones you like or love just as much. So don’t get too hung up on this one.
We’ve all been there, and it sucks, but it will be alright my friend. Also, just for future strategy, I would try not to get too invested too early on. Meaning, don’t text or message her all day for weeks or whatever before meeting her. I always suggest keeping things short and sweet in text and doing the rest of the work in person. This way you can avoid scenarios like the one that just happened. But good luck and let me know if you have any other questions!
I’ve been chatting this girl recently and she seems fun to talk to. Though, she takes long hours to reply my messages, she always seems interested. (contributing info and asking questions in return as well as filling her replies with lots of smileys)
Then all of a sudden, she just ignored my message and hasn’t replied me since. I feel like I should let it go but at the same time I feel like she’s just playing hard to get.
Mind you, I did take a considerably long time get close to her and ask for her number, even after she made it clear that she liked me. And I even flirted with a girl right in front of her. I feel like this is her way of getting revenge (prolonged replies and all) but then again I could be wrong and this might be her nice way of telling me that I read the wrong vibes and should just back off. I don’t want to push it.
Justin Stenstrom says
Use the 3rd strategy here. Push it…
You only live once. That said, if this fails, which there’s a decent chance it will, then it’s probably over.
But I say go for it and stop questioning whether or not you should.
Good luck, and join my Facebook Group for more insights! “Elite Man Mastermind”
Hi Justin, I met this girl a couple of months back and I started texting her. Now I’ve been taking the initiative by starting most if not all the conversations we’ve had so far. Now the problem is I linked up with her on Friday night and we had a good time but ever since then she’s gone quiet on me. She had a work function on Saturday night and I texted her wishing her all the best on Saturday but she didn’t respond. Then I waited till Sunday evening to text her again and ask her how her work event went and she didn’t respond, I would’ve loved to say I’m not bothered but I really am. I’m thinking of using the strategies you mentioned in your article. Have you got any other tips that could possibly help?
Justin Stenstrom says
These are the best ones my friend! Good luck and let me know how it works out.
Great advice here! I really appreciate it – I’m thinking of trying out #1 and #3 after waiting a few more days.
I apologize for this being such a long comment, but I’d really appreciate your input!
I’ve got a pretty weird situation as well. I’ve been dating this girl for over a month now.
We went on 4 dates, once every weekend. Things were going great, we were both really happy.
We didn’t text much in-between dates, except for planning our next date.
On the third date we made out & she asked me to spend the night.
I’d think these are obviously signs that she likes me a lot.
However, our last date was 3 weeks ago.
After our last date, I went out of town – so we weren’t going to see each other for 2 weeks anyway.
While I was out she texted me a few times wanting to talk late at night. All was good. She hinted that she would be really busy with university the following weeks.
Once I got back, she asked me if I wanted to go on a road trip with her. We were talking about it for a little while, everything was good – then she suddenly said she would be busy & could’t go. She acted really sad about this. Since then her replies were really short that night – then she just stopped responding.
A week went by, and I texted her on Sunday (we already had a date planned that day).
She responded saying “sorry I’ve been really busy and I can’t go out today”.
No more texts after that. That was last weekend.
I’ve texted her 4 times since then – no replies.
I even sent her a long text explaining that I really liked her and wanted to make things work with her.
In my last text I asked her if I did something wrong, or if she was just really busy. I told her that I’d understand either way. No response.
I just don’t understand how someone could go from really liking me – to suddenly cutting me off.
Now I’m feeling stuck. At this point I’ve probably sent too many unanswered texts.
I can’t tell if she’s trying to cut me off, or if she really is that busy?
I know there is a 5-day school break coming up next weekend, so “busy” definitely won’t be an excuse then. Should I try and reconnect with her then? I’m thinking about going with #3 – the phone call.
Justin Stenstrom says
I would probably try #3 which is the Challenge Her to Hang Out Method, not the phone call.
But to really answer your question, I believe anything could have happened.
Women are so unpredictable. You really can’t tell what’s going on in someone else’s life without knowing the full picture.
Maybe she got back with her boyfriend, maybe a family member died, maybe something else entirely…
The point is it’s not your fault either way.
But try the 3rd strategy one more time (and maybe the 2nd) if you’d like. But then give it a rest and use your energy elsewhere.
Good luck man!
I’ve been troubled about this girl for a while now.
So, I’m currently living in England doing a PhD, but I met this girl while I was back in the States visiting family and friends. We had a really nice date, but I had to fly out the next day, so I figured that it probably wouldn’t go much further. But then she seemed to be really keen on staying in touch, so we started to get to know each other more even though I was back in England. We messaged a ton and called each other a few times and had long conversations and I asked if I could see her when I visited again. She said yes.
Then, after about 3 months, she started disappearing more often. I knew she was busy and the time zones thing sucks, so I didn’t think much of it. She was always prone to disappearing and coming back again because of work and stuff. I asked her about it in a nice way and she explained that she had been overwhelmed with more work lately and that she was actually going through some tough issues with her ex.
Anyway, we talked and she said she still wanted to hear from me and stay in touch, but one day she just vanished. She didn’t block me or delete me on any messenging service, she just stopped responding. I never really hounded her about not messaging me and I’d generally wait a few days/weeks between my texts, but nothing. I’ve given it a few months because summer is peak busy time for her, but still nothing.
Should I just get past it and quit thinking about her? It just seemed so unlike her. I know she’s alive because she’s posted a few work related things on Facebook that have popped up on my newsfeed, but other than that, I have no idea what happened.
Justin Stenstrom says
I would try using one of the strategies outlined in this post, one at a time. If you’re lucky and there’s still even a small chance she might be into you, you’ll get a response back.
If it’s over though, and it just may be, you have to move on.
This strategy works sometimes and sometimes it doesn’t. It works because women, are very fickle with their emotions. Sometimes they won’t respond because they’re in a bad mood, sometimes they don’t feel like texting, sometimes they fall asleep and forget, and other times, they are not into you, even though they might have been before…
But you won’t know unless you try. And if she doesn’t respond even then, you may never know. But the truth of the matter is that it’s okay.
You WILL FIND SOMEONE ELSE if this is the case. Just be hopeful, optimistic, and keep doing what you’re doing!
Best of luck brother!
Asher drew says
I met this girl over instagram and I followed her, she didnt follow me back though. a few days later, I texted her through instagram and we started talking, a few replies later, she follows me back and we continued the convo a bit. we were texting at about 2am and I sent the last message “I apologise if i said anything stupid” to which she didnt reply till later that day at 5pm to which she said “nahhh, just pretty busy actually”. I replied with “so you cool with being friends” to which she hasnt replied to in a day. what do i do?
Justin Stenstrom says
Use one of these techniques.
And next time don’t apologize or say anything lame like that. It’s a total turn off for women.
Good luck though and all the best!
BTW Join my new Facebook Group the “Elite Man Mastermind” to get faster up-to-date advice!
I was super glad to come across this article! I asked this girl out on a date that I’ve known on and off for a few years, and she said yes and seemed very enthusiastic. Before that, she was all over my social media: snap chat, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Then, when I started to text her about when we should go out, she completely ignored me on all social platforms, including texting. This has been going on for a few weeks now. Any advice? Do you think your methods will work, even though she’s ignored the last three texts I’ve sent her?
Justin Stenstrom says
Definitely take a break from texting her. You probably scared her off a bit with 3 unanswered texts already. But I get it, and I’ve certainly been there before!
Take a break for a bit though and then try using these techniques after a month or two of silence.
It may be a long shot, but it still could work 🙂
P.S. If you want to join an awesome group of like-minded guys and get answers to your questions faster…
Join my awesome new Facebook Group called the Elite Man Mastermind ?
I met this woman on a dating app, we messaged on it for about a month or so and exchanged numbers. We kept up the conversation through texting and I continuously made her laugh. 2-3 weeks of this goes by and we meet up for drinks and a movie. Date goes well, we learn more about each other and find a lot of commonalities. She texts me when she gets home saying she enjoyed herself so I decided to make plans to meet her again. She sounded very excited at the idea, and kept the texts going for another couple weeks. A couple days before it was time to meet up again, she canceled, saying she was going to be busy with work and hoped to reschedule. After that, she vanished. However, she is still watching my snaps on snapchat and “liking” some of my posts on facebook. I figure, if she wouldn’t do this if she was ignoring me. I’m not sure what the deal is here.
Not sure if I want to take any kind of action right now as I just seen her post herself in the company of someone else. I suppose thats why shes been so busy.
Justin Stenstrom says
Could be anything man. Unfortunately women are just so unpredictable.
Definitely try one of the techniques in this post.
Also, if you want to join an awesome group of like-minded guys and get answers to your questions faster…
Join my awesome new Facebook Group called the Elite Man Mastermind 🙂
Yellow hulk says
So I’ve been talking to this new girl for like a a month in a half….EVERY day. So we went out last Thursday, and everything was all cool. After I walked her to her car and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Then she tried to stick her tongue down my throat, mind you she was sick so I kind of smoothly turned my head to open the door for her and she kissed me on the neck and cheek. She got a little moody and kinda slammed the door. I texted her later that night and she seemed ok thanking me for dinner and telling me sweet dreams.
So she left for vacay for the weekend so I didn’t hit her up so she can have some space. Then I hit her up on Sunday and Monday no response… And I called her. Nothing. It’s been a week now and no response. WTH???
Justin Stenstrom says
Definitely try one of these techniques to get her back in the fold 🙂
Evan Kottiel says
You think its cool to double text again? How long should I wait before I do so?
Justin Stenstrom says
Yeah if you’ve waited a few weeks by now you should be good.
Say something like ““Sup sweetheart…Are you gonna hang out soon or are you gonna keep being a dink :)”
Allen Spacer says
lol wonder if my situation is different. This girl came to me shes a year younger and im 22 if that helps. I was told by my manager that she spent a day or two looking for me when I was off work and when she found me she gave me her number. I’ve been texting her on Monday and Tuesday then all of a sudden she wants to call that night. She or her phone which ever or hung up in the middle of our call but before she hung up we wanted to see a movie Sunday is what we agreed on. Have not heard from her since that last call I’ve texted her only six times and called once. texts like”whats up ?” and ” I found some good movie times for Sunday Im looking forward to seeing you” lasts things i remember she told me was that she also has college as well and her mothers has been in the hospital this week, and shes the oldest sibling and living with her parents so she probably has a lot on her plate. I wouldn’t mind if she said something but its been 100% silent not even a change of plans. is she being flaky or what? I dont even know if shes turned off from my texts or if it was me. she quoted before I dont really like being on the phone , Im sorry if I dont reply fast its not you, but that was back when she was texting.
Justin Stenstrom says
I’d try the 2nd method and call her. Make sure she’s still alive 🙂
And leave a good voicemail; make it compelling and humorous….
But like all the other ones, this is really a shot in the dark. Anything could have happened here and you don’t know what it is.
Good luck and all the best!
Evan Kottiel says
So I see you respond to most commenters so I thought I would let you know of my situation!
So I met this girl at work, and was really shy around her at first…but found out she thought I was cute so I messaged her. She responded and we had a good chat, but after a while she just stopped responding. That has pretty much been the story every since. I did get her phone number and will text her and she will answer back for a couple hours and we will have a good convo and then out of the blue she will disappear. I have asked her to hang out in a jokingly way and she never responded. I am not one to give up, however I don’t like being the guy who *always* double texts to get another convo going.
Let me know your thoughts!
Thanks so much,
If a girl doesn’t reply me and I said sorry for being offensive towards her what would be her impression?
Justin Stenstrom says
Could be anything. My first impression is that you’re probably coming across as needy.
Hey Justin, I have question. I met this girl at my job. We talked and text each other about two days and I invited to go bowling and she accepted the invitation but she bailed out last minute. The next morning called and invited me to her house to hang out. I went and we had a good time. She came to my house the next day and hang out. I met with her couple times after that. We was texting each other non stop. She never pick my phone calls after 9 pm..she claim that she go to bed at 9 pm. One day she text me and said she getting involved with her ex. I did respond to text immediately. I text her back a day later and told I was cool with her decision. She got upset because I told her that she did not know what she want. A couple of my coworker her that I’m a player. I text twice for the past couple days and I did not get a reply. I really like this girl. My question is should keep trying to get her back to just give up and move on
Justin Stenstrom says
Try giving it a break for a month or so then try one of these methods. But take a break for now man. Good luck!
Hey justin! I met this girl last time when i was going out wif other girls fd and she is fd of my fd. Then we danced and we feel like we like each other, then i walked back home wif her and she hold my hands and things like that. Then we said we will go out again few days later, and we did. We kissed and dance so close and hold hands and flirt or stuff like that like a bf and gf. Then i slept over in her house wif her fds but we didnt do anything. After that day, we texted each other but she is always busy for the whole day but she will text me at night like she has not much thing to do but we didint text alot, also in the daytime i can say she did have free time but she just doesnt open my snapchat but she always see my snapchat story tho. Last night she said sorry for ignoring cuz she was super focus on work and so on. I mean she definitely has time to reply at daytime but she didnt. Now i dont even know should i ask her out to club on the weekend because i asked her that night after club and she said she had a assignment which is due to monday but she said maybe she can go after that. However, the frequent of how she text me is confusing me like should i ask her out or use the technique you gave us to make her pay more attention on me? We are still not fd on Instagram or facebook, but she gave me her phone numbers on that night we went out. I did text her sth quite lame two days ago when i felt sad about my ex gf and i was like i felt so bad and shit but she tried to comfort me tho then after last night she apologize about ignoring me i said i am scared you will find me annoying or sth like that. Now i dont know should i text her or not, cuz she still hasnt open my snapchat text. I dont know wt she is thinking cuz no matter jow busy you can still text for few mins right? Thank you so Much.
Justin Stenstrom says
Hey Tony, join our Facebook group called the “Elite Man Mastermind”…This is the best way to get an answer to a question that has a lot of detail to it. Best!
Hey. I have met this girl. I took her out at least 4 times. We had a great time. Until she tells me she works late hours and hardly gets weekends off anymore. I figured she was trying to push me away. So I tried to contact her every now and then and say hey sorry to bother you. She would say I’m not a bother. so I thought I was good. So I figured I can’t call her or see her because she’s working. So I’ll send her a message stating what my intentions were. After that message I didn’t get a reply back for about a week and a half. I may have messed up when I tried to message her again 5 days later saying good morning how are you? I’m not sure on what to do. I would like your opinion. I really like her just feel like this whole situation is confusing.
Justin Stenstrom says
Hey man, join our Facebook group called the “Elite Man Mastermind”. Our experts can give you solid, and fast advice here.
So I’ve dating this girl for 8 months who was a friend of a friend and looked me up. She’s been single for 3 yrs now and made a move to date me. She stated she hates clingy, needy people and she’s used to having her space.Things have been going great. We live 4 hours away but make a point to see each other quite often. I make time. We have gone on mini vacations, sports events and I’ve even meet her family. Her hours are super terrible with two jobs with a day off so it’s very difficult to come down to visit my home town to turn around and work the next day. Recently she has been busy from work but always made a point to text me or let me know how her day has went in the past. We would always throw out morning and how has your day been texts have been good. .Well in the last five days something changed. I’ve text my good morning and I get no response. Fourth day I say ” Hi hope your are doing well are you ok.” I get ” busy going to work.” I know she able to answer because she shows active on Facebook throughout he day and late at night. Some of her work events are done really late.
I’ve been left SMH.
What happen here. We are at the I love you level so I’m left confused. I stopped texting cause I didn’t want to show I was needy. It’s been two days I have not texted her anymore. What should I do?
Justin Stenstrom says
Hey Jay, join our Facebook group called the “Elite Man Mastermind”. We have a lot of great dating/relationship experts who can steer you the right way.
Hey Justin I read this article to late.. i met this awesome chick we realcly hit it off on our first time hanging out having drinks…I didn’t seal the deal being stupid thinking I was being ‘the nice guy’. I’ve only sent her three texts since her last reply 2 of them me being stupid small talk and the last one just saying sorry she couldn’t make it out tonight and I was going to be out and about if she finished with her friend early…Is there any recovery if I know exactly what my mistakes were? Or should I just move on?
Justin Stenstrom says
Try one of these techniques and forget about being the nice guy going forward. Be the dominant guy. The guy who gets women and doesn’t have to pretend to be someone he’s not. You can still be nice, but be the man you truly are inside.
Hey Justin, so I would always see this girl sitting outside my classroom after class would be over and she would usually look at me as I walked by. After a couple of weeks I went up to her and started talking to her, I was sick and I wasn’t at the top of my game but she didn’t seem creeped out. Next week I sat around the same area I always see her and after her class was over she came up to me. She stayed there for about two hours and I had to end our conversation because I had to get to my class. I got her number and said we should hang out sometime. She simply said yeah in an excited/not so excited, I couldn’t really tell. I texted her the next day and two days after getting her number I invited her to play pool, and she said yes that sounds IIke fun. When I asked her when she was available she said next week because she was busy Christmas shopping that week. But she had already told me she would be going out of town after Christmas. The day before she left I tried getting her out but she said she was with her family. So I said I guess we’re playing pool until next week. She said yeah, I’m sorry. I said no worries, I can wait. I kept texting her every couple of days and I figured she would be back so I started a quick conversation and asked what he was doing tomorrow. Then I said I was available Saturday or Monday to go play and that we should go one of those days. I sent that text just after 11 pm so she may have fallen asleep but it’s already the next day and she hasn’t replied so I know she’s not asleep and she’s read it.
She seemed kind of shy when I met her but she was very open to me, asked me questions, played with her hair, etc. She also replies within minutes even if I take an hour to reply. Should I call her to set up our first date?
I don’t know how she would feel if I used #1, making a joke about her not replying.
Or should I ask if she feels nervous about hanging out with me? We only talked twice in person and she seems fine texting me but I’d like to toefl her that I want to get to know her more and texting is a bad way of doing that therefore I’d like to see her in person.
Justin Stenstrom says
Please join the “Elite Man Mastermind” group on Facebook for questions like this. We have hundreds of men in the group and questions that have this much detail either need to be something answered in one-on-one coaching with me (email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you’re interested in this) or answered in the group we have. Thanks man and hope to see you in the group!
Hey Justin, I’ve met this girl at work, we hit it off from day one, whenever we see each other it’s always cool, funnily I gave her my number, after some time I asked her for hers, this is after a few more conversations, didn’t want to sound eager, so asked in a simple way, unfortunately she shyly said that she’s involved in a complicated relationship, turns out the boyfriend is in a next country, I didn’t let the fact that she didn’t give me her number or the fact she has a boyfriend bother me, kept being me and making conversations as usual when I see her, long story short she’s been in a four year relationship but the guys in a next country, well he lives there as he was a foreign exchange student, she don’t talk about him a lot, but in terms of communications, sure I have a few of her social media’s, how do I get her to forget about this boyfriend and start feeling me? Or even get talking outside of work by giving me her number etc.
Justin Stenstrom says
Hey Ben please join our Facebook Group the Elite Man Mastermind to get great feedback on your question. Go to EliteManMastermind.com to request to join and I’ll add you in. Talk soon man!
So, I met this really cute girl 3days ago(shes 18 and goes to college) and we started texting had a good convo, 2 days pass and I ask her out, she takes 30mins to reply and says she has class till 10pm on tuesdays, I ask her when she is free, and she replys instantly with her telling me her whole schedule and saying maybe we could hang out in between her classes, I reply Cool I’ll buy us something to eat, and it’s a date while we hang out between your classes, sound good? 🙂 it’s been 2 days and response, what should I do?
Justin Stenstrom says
Try one of the strategies listed above 🙂
I’ve been conversing online with a woman for a couple of weeks then suggested we meet. She replied back with her cell and told me to text her. Next day I shot her a text, she said hi back, but never replied after I suggested we meet at a place on Saturday. It’s been about a day since we’ve texted. Wouldn’t of expected this from a 35 y.o. woman… A bit puzzled.
Any ideas? Was going to do the # 3, but not sure.
Justin Stenstrom says
It happens man. Doesn’t matter the age. I’d try Strategy 1 or 2. 3 is the last resort. Also, feel free to join our Facebook Group the Elite Man Mastermind to get great feedback on your question. Go to EliteManMastermind.com to request to join and I’ll add you in.
Rohan J.G says
I recently met a girl after a long time in a bus. We studied together but I didn’t think she would remember me. I approached her and to my surprise she did. We talked for a while till I had to get down. The conversation was pretty pleasant. But I didn’t ask her number. I got her number later through a friend and whatsapp’d her. She replied after a few days. She didn’t ask where I got her number from but she wasn’t very talkative either. She has ignored my last few texts. What do I do?
ps: I got to know that she is very studious, but she told me she only studies before the exams. And she only gets online two-three times a week.
Justin Stenstrom says
Please join our Facebook Group to get great feedback on longer questions like this. Or feel free to email me at email@example.com if you’re interested in coaching. Our Facebook Group is called the Elite Man Mastermind. Go to EliteManMastermind.com to request to join and I’ll add you in.
Hey I’ve been reading these posts and there really good. Long story short is I’ve been friends with this girl for a year or a bit more. We have a decent relationship but I’d honestly like to date her. Lately though she’s been not replying to my texts and treating me weirdly, I’m not sure what to do. I’ve asked her out before say 6 months ago and she said she’d rather do things as a group and didn’t want to hurt my feelings. One of my friends who knows her super well said in her particular case I asked her out too soon, since she is timid that way. Any thoughts on what I should do? I’m probably gonna try strategy 1 on her tonight.
The thing that keeps me interested in her though is i really like her, any thought would be appreciated. Thanks
I met this girl at a party and she was the one that looked for me through her friends. One of her friends told me she liked me and she introduced us. Later on we started talking and I got her number and then I asked her to dance and so we did. Then we started making out for a while while dancing as well. After a while she and her friends had to go but I asked her if I would see her again and she said yeah. Then I texted her twice asking her out but she never replied. It’s been 3 days and she hasn’t texted back. Do you think your techniques will work in this case?
I have been texting this woman for more than a year now. We used to work together in a company in a small industrial town before I was retrenched , had to move on and return to my home city, which is quite a distance – 670km away from her. Since then, we have been texting even more. She answered my text every time and things seemed good. She even went to my home city for a work errand and I took my chances to ask her out on a short date before she headed up back to her town.
She would always share her frustrations about her boyfriend, of which treats her like she is nothing and even seldom texts her or ask her out. And in return I was the one who gave her advices on how to deal with him.
But I ended up falling for her in the process…
Recently I tried texting her and things did not go so well. My last text was about 2 days ago when she said she was busy dyeing her hair at a salon. Today when I tried to text her again, there was no response and I ended up sleeping on my bed, wake up the next morning with zero replies.
I know I have to walk away for self-respect, but I just cannot help it if I still keep on worrying that I might lose her to some old fuckboys booty-calling her. (btw, she is older than me – I am 25 and she is 37)
I have being chasing this girl at office for the past three years. I tried calling and texting. When speaking she sounds really not interested and when she texts it’s just one word response. She had explicitly said she doesn’t like me. You think I could turn things around
Justin Stenstrom says
No. It’s time to focus your attention elsewhere. Good luck.
Hey I am using tinder since a month. I am student from Asia country here in Sydney. I got some matches . Firstly, I usually used to message them first starting with generic hi and hello, how you doing? What happened is some of them never reply even to hello , hi and they use to unmatch. Some of them just reply to hi and how are you ? But after generic hi they don’t reply to further messages. I don’t understand. I am sick of all this. I don’t understand what they think and understand. I tried different style of initial messages format like straight one and formal both.
Justin Stenstrom says
Tinder kind of sucks. Use POF instead. And try to stay away from the generic messages. Try a bunch of different things until you find something that clicks (and works). Good luck and also, improve your pics… this is the most important thing on here!
So I met this girl on a dating app in London, we got in really well straight away, a lot in common etc. We texted for about a week or so and then I asked her out on a date which she accepted. The date went really well and we got on like a house on fire, so much in common etc! I paid for the meal and she said thank you I will take you to this restaurant next week. On the walk back to the train she said she had had a lovely time and was really looking forward to our next date.
I text her after we had parted ways saying it was great to meet her and she said thank you and she was excited to see me again. The next day the texts were not quite as frequent. I asked her what days she was free the following week to meet and she said she was busy on the 2 days that I suggested. Then we didn’t talk for a whole day. I asked her again a few days later, her response was that she was busy this week but may have a free day next week. I just said ok great let me know which day, to which she replied “will do”.
I now haven’t heard from her for 2 days. What shall I do? Just wait to see if she texts me?
Justin Stenstrom says
Alex, join the Elite Man Mastermind group on Facebook. Here we give you the best advice for questions like this. And it’s totally free man.
Billy Nelson says
I dated this girl for 2 years. We were engaged to be married. On July 3rd she broke up with me essentially out of nowhere. She never gave me any solid reason why she did this. Eventually I did get out of her that this was nothing I did and she needs to focus on herself and that I am too good for her. I have tried numerous times to text her throughout the 6 weeks we have been broken up. I’ve given her space and have not pressured one thing on her. Many times I have texted her. At times she responds but many times she does not. I have asked her via text if she would like me to leave her alone and just stay out of her life forever and walk away if this is over for good. She will not respond to that text. Been a few days. Don’t want to text again. Any thoughts?
Me and this woman hit it off , for the first week it was great! When I met her we kissed talked and watched movies it seem cool, then after like 8 hours she doesn’t even want to text me back anymore. But she’s been on social media what does this mean?
Justin Stenstrom says
Not interested. Move on man.
I’ve been talking to this girl since February. She had given me her number back in July 2016 when we saw each other again (we knew each other before). We have been out several times, always with her best friend and younger brother. There have been many signs that she shows interest. We text randomly. Usually would text throughout the day and then a few days no contact. Or carry texts through days then no contact fora bit. She ghosted me right after we went out to a movie at the end of May, but got up with me a month later again. Started texting again. Planned to go to a movie (same people) had a great time. She eyed me more this time than before Her birthday was the next week and I bought her something she mentioned she wanted on FB. . Invited me to her book club the next week and we planned another movie. Messaged to move movie to the next week. Her birthday comes Friday and I sent flowers to her work (she said she had a bad week). She was super thankful. Saw her next day. I asked to come over sometime, to which she said she had no problem with that. Then asked if she wanted to go out together for dinner or movie. Told her maybe the next day. She said message her about it. She posted on FB she was feeling bad (she was indeed from the week she had). Told her I was sorry she was sick and hoped she started feeling better for later in the day. Never heard anything and it’s been 2 weeks. Never went to the movie. Asked her about possible plans through text for tomorrow. Nothing. What should I do? Did I mess up? If so, how can I fix it? She is still going on with her life as normal, but shows no interest in anyone else. I’m just confused now.
Ahmed M. Fawzy says
Hello all, I wish u all have a good time, I went with my family to the baron palace hotel in hurghada to spend our summer. we stayed 7 nights… there are animation team and they care about guests, do activities etc…. one of them was a girl named Natalia she is smart and she loves her work and I attracted to her I was dying to get even with her till my last night in the hotel. Because of her work and she can’t hang with any guest who could cause to her big problems. her work start at 9 AM till 11 PM. So I succeeded to date her for 10 mins , She told me meet me near the pool and she came to me ❤. we talked to each other like 2 hours from 11:30PM till 1:15AM and I gave her a necklace at the end of the day, she hugged me 3 times and last hug when we were about to go. she gave me her what’s app and Instagram. but it seems she is not active on it (only 1 pic on insta). about the what’sapp.. she is rarely reply with me.. she is from Belarus IDK…. maybe she is too busy for a reply ? my last couple messages delivered but not seen,however she is active… and she active only 5 mins and go off… and so on till 11PM. then she go offline and she sleep . I want to try hard to contact her and her is mys suggestions: 1- Should I wait her call me ? 2-Should I call her and ask her for a 2nd date then go to hurghada?? (out of baron hotel ?) . 3- she will go to Belarus this week to continue her studies there.. Should I wait her until she go? any help please ! . that make me frustrated. and I will assist with more details for all of you Thank you.
soo I met this girl on facebook and I hit her up. We had a lot of fun talking to each other using messenger. after a week of talking I told her I wanted to watch a horror movie but never invited her if she wants to come with me. But to my surprise she’s actually the one who invited me to go watch a horror movie after that we ate and then talked a lot. I think she’s really comfortable with me since she talks about her personal stuff. Later that night after all of that I talked to her again on messenger and I sent a message but she ignored it. what am I supposed to do? does she want to play games with me? or she does not like me at all?
solaiman khan says
Hey i have been trying to impress a girl.. And it took me 4 years ..but the girl still avoiding me and she don’t wanna talk with me.. What can i do please help me…
Justin Stenstrom says
Move on and stop trying to impress her.
I got her snap chat off a dating app she started viewing my stories so I messaged her we exchanged 10-15 text but a very good conversation. Constantly watches my stories I finally ask her to meet she isn’t sure just wants to talk once in a while. I text 1 day later nothing wait two days nothing what does it mean?
*also sometimes our stories would mirror each other usually involving lovey lyrics.
Hey Justin good content man. You know your stuff dude. Quick question, this chick I’ve been attracted to had recently added me on fb, then we matched a week or so later on Tinder.
She messaged me on Tinder and said “Well look at that” , we had a quick chat and I told her to text me. She did and I ended up asking her if she was free this upcoming weekend, and that we should grab a drink.
She responded with “I don’t know what I’m doing yet.” I don’t know what to say. Usually if a chick says something like this i wont respond. What would you do? Makes no sense when shes the one who added me on Facebook and then matched me on Tinder I’d think she wanted to hang out.
if she give you number, it mean she have interest! that’s it period! usually I send her text and ask to go out with me! if no answer, I will stop send her text! maybe I will try next week! but that’s it! move on! in past if I got no reply usually I will text her, 3 times a day! but the result usually are pretty bad, and her ego will bost! for me its bad idea! because when womans think, we like them to much! most of the time, we got nothing 🙂 afterall its all about whos like to much! me Or her 🙂
There’s this girl I met few weeks ago in a nightclub, we hit it off but we didnt have sex as I had work in few hours. So got her number, and we’ve been texting. There’s definitely been good flirting & hints of sex.
Few plans have failed, due to our other commitments (Some fault of my own) & few days ago, we arranged to hang out at her place this weekend – which she messaged next morning, saying she was really excited about (Again fault of my own not arranging a proper time). Messaged her early afternoon today to ask if it was still on. She texted back asking what time? I suggested 8pm, no reply.
Texted her again 5 hours later, saying ‘I’ll see you at 8? Unless you want to do earlier’ And she responded with ‘I’m out at a friend’s meal’ Which she snap chatted to her story so fair enough. So I then, said No worries. We can do it after I finish work next friday instead ?. If you can’t make it tonight. No response. Texted her few hours later asking how the meal was. Which I know I shouldn’t done!! But couldn’t stop thinking about it. – But to our surprise, she didn’t respond again. (All left on read)
Have I completely blown it ? If not, how can I save this ? I just wanna have bit of sex with her, as I know we’re not relationship material.
I had been highschool with this girl that I liked for 2 years. When I would text her it would usually take her 2 days to reply but sometimes she would respond right away. I eventually told her that I liked her and it ended on good terms. I haven’t talked to her in six months and today was her birthday and I sent her a text saying happy birthday but she didn’t respond. I was thinking about going after her again. Do you have any advice on what I should?
Actually she just replied saying: Thank you!C. But how should I continue that and start a new conversation later to keep her interested in texting me back. Thanks again
I’ve started seeing a girl for the last few weeks and I really like her. Things have been going well so far. Her friend even told me recently that she likes me and that whatever I’m doing is working. I texted her last week to ask if she wanted to do something one night this week. She said yes so I told her to let me know what night works best for her.
I haven’t heard from her yet it’s been 6 days. My friend offered me two tickets to a basketball game so I texted her today to see if she wanted to go, but I’ve gotten no answer. I was thinking of using Strategy 1 sometime tomorrow and saying something like ‘guess your not a knicks fan lol’. Do you think that’s a good idea? If not what would be the best route? Thanks so much
Miguel Portillo says
I met this beautiful girl online and we talked for about for about 2 weeks in the app. She gave me her phone number and we began talking directly for about another week. We had our first date about a week ago and I get the impression that she’s ignoring me. I’ve texted her off and on for about a week and she’s replied about 2-3 times. I’ve called and all I get is her voicemail. I’m about to give up on her but she seems worth it. What should be my next step?? Appreciate your time and reply… Thanks
Wow, I just tried strategy number one with a girl I am trying to have a long distance relationship with that I met for a few days on a trip. It worked! I am quite amazed
Ibrahim West says
I like this girl and I know she likes me as well but every time I talk to her she does not reply back good, all the things she will say is hmm or really. Like I really make all the effort to talk but I don’t know she does not seem interested and if I stop calling her or text her she will call me and say why am I ignoring her. When I reply to that she won’t text me back. like I don’t really know what to do.
Theres this girl that I like and Im not sure if she feels the same at the moment but she hasn’t messaged two of my messages from a week ago and Im not sure if it was because something happened on last Friday or Idk, please help me should I send her another message? I don’t know what to do anymore.
I have seen a girl that caught my eye and I was in love with the first glance I saw her. However I have tried my best to make her answer me back, but neverthless she hasn’t and I can tell that she sees my texts but she dosnt reply… am sure she dosnt know me and I don’t know her but I want to know her and want to start a releationship with her I don’t know how she sees it whether am a weirdo or creepy person lol. I don’t know what suggestions to use to grab the girls attention and to make her answer me. I also sent her friend request on Facebook but she hasn’t accepted my request I felt overwhelmed and faded, I believe she isn’t interested
Justin Stenstrom says
She’s not. Move on. Good luck and try not to be needy, as it seems like this may be your main problem.
Shivaji Joshi says
I love a married girl. She loves me too she had decided to leave her husband as he is good for nothing and doesn’t treat her good. There are no kids in picture. One day her husband got to know about us and now she is ignoring me and telling me to stop everything. What should I do?
Justin Stenstrom says
Bro, she has a husband. Tell her how you feel and ask her if she’s going to actually leave him, but aside from that, there’s really nothing you can do. Find a new woman if she can’t be with you. Life’s not always easy or fair, but you can’t keep thinking about her if she’s unavailable. Good luck.
Hey, I don’t know where this email will go, but I just had a question. I just recently met a beautiful woman, that I now believe is the love of my life, after searching so long and hard for the right one. I have been through so much hard shit that is just too fucked up to say online, but it has made me a stronger man, and a more confident man. But this time, its her that is depressed and cries herself to sleep every night. She really wants me to help her, but how can I convince her that she can trust me? Also, we are living in different States, but we really want to be together physically, which I believe would be the best thing for us right now. But we are low on money, and our desire to be together is stronger than ever…any ideas on how to make that possible?
I just recently met a beautiful woman, that I now believe is the love of my life, after searching so long and hard for the right one. I have been through so much hard stuff that is just too messed up to say online, but it has made me a stronger man, and a more confident man. But this time, its her that is depressed and cries herself to sleep every night. She really wants me to help her, but how can I convince her that she can trust me? Also, we are living in different States, but we really want to be together physically, which I believe would be the best thing for us right now. But we are low on money, and our desire to be together is stronger than ever…any ideas on how to make that possible?
what if i had made the mistake of over calling her which you said we should not do and she still doesn’t pick or call back,, how do i correct my mistakes
I have an interesting situation. I’ve been dating this girl for over 3 months now.. I love her so much.. but I do know she lives with a guy to which she says “that she loves him but is not in love with him” like she is with me (according to her). She owns an apartment and he is a resident there. He is responsible for the most of the monthly rent so she tells me that she has to play it cool and not make him think something is up. I told her that is totally fine and I’m willing to keep that secret from anyone. Now.. the problem is she doesn’t text much with me.. she tells me she is complicated.. I always oversend way too many texts and she answers them maybe few minutes later.. sometimes hours or the next day.. and some questions/statements she completely ignores I also do work with her in the same building so I get to see her throughout my shift. She is always full of smiles.. and blows me kisses.. tells me that she loves me. But for the past few weeks, thats where she started to text less. Today, for example, we both had our days off and the night before we agreed on that she will come over to my house. She sat in my car after work and we talked about it. She told me she will message me when she wakes up but she didn’t. She was suppose to go do her nails today but I have no idea if she did because she never messaged in the morning. She used to do that before.. but now things are changing.. and im starting to feel like im losing her.. I’m also starting to lose my mind over the fact she doesn’t text back. The guy had a shift today and both of us knowing that I’d figure she would talk to me but all she did was said “Hey ^-^” and then little texts like that afterwards. Clearly, she doesnt text much but I, on the other hand, send a lot. I absolutely love talking and hearing from her.. but she I guess doesnt as much.. I’m not sure where I am going wrong
Also, forgot to mention that she has told me I am absolutely perfect and hot and good stuff like that. We have went out multiple times.. had sex, and hung out a bunch.
Hope you can help me! 🙂
Hi. I live in the Philippines, i met a girl that i really like and i know my self if i really like a girl i will fuck it up and will loose her. A small background about Filipina girls, tgey are conservative.
This girl and i started texting about a month and a half ago and it was great and we went out 3 times. Already and we clicked. This is when i know that i really like her. Everything was going smoothly till the time she had to go to a wedding out of town. Now this is the part where i screwed it up, i kinda showed my concern for her and told her not to drink too much and if she will she has to be with her girlfriends. Coz of that we got into an argument coz she took it as offensive… but i apologized quickly. After that our texts are not the same anymore. During that argument i told her ” if you want me to STOP i will STOP” but she didn’t say anything. But she did say to me ” that this mite not work” my reply was ” I’m sorry but i want to make this work” we argued further and ended up she telling me ” we’ll see” since then out texts to each other are not the same as before. But if i text she replies but takes a long time sometimes. I haven’t seen her gor 2 weeks now. Any advice?
My plan is to give her something on Valentine’s day like a surprise but nothing big that would embarrass her. You think that will work?
Hope you can give me some advise.
Vibhor Jain says
I like this girl a lot but she is involved with someone else. It did not matter till today as things were going smoothly between us but today she has not replied to my texts.
She ignored my first text and then I used your 1st strategy but then also she saw it and did not reply. Yesterday was her boyfriend’s birthday and I think they might have hit it off at the party.
Can you tell me what to do next??
There is this girl I like a co-worker of mine. During work hours she acts interested in me. like tilting her head, always brushing and tucking her hair behind her ears while talking to me, giving me strong eye contact and all, but when I text her all replies I’m getting is “haha” and “hehe” and she hasn’t replied back in about 24 hours. any suggestions? I don’t want to do anything rash to damage the workplace and the working environment.
Thank you and this article was a big help too
Matt Bremer says
I went on a dinner with a girl and we both had a great time. She texted me after 2 days thanking me for taking her out and for amazing time we spent. I replied her that I had an amazing time too and found her to be an amazing girl. I also mentioned I would like to take her out again so just let me know when she is available. It has been 2 weeks and I haven’t heard from her. What should I do now and how should I approach. Any suggestion on what I did wrong here ?
Ive been with someone for most 8 years, we never moved in with one another and it made things brutal mostly my fault since we where saving money on our future but i told her i was frsutrated and this wasn’t what i wanted wrong thing to say to a women! now i felt bad because thats now how i meant to say it i meant to say i wanted to move in with her and wanted more than what we had, she got mad and then later told me that she to was unhappy. she broke up with me and is moving on with her life, i know i messed up! i went to her a told her to take me back and made it worse of course and then i went back a few days later to talk to her again and she was even more pissed and told me to stop acting childish! i see know what she men’t i tried to stay ways for a few weeks and then told her that i wasn’t acting like myself and had a lot of weight on my shoulder sand told her that i wasn’t gnat ask her to come back to our old relationship, and was looking at life with a different outlook with i am I’m happier but i still want to make mends with her or if possible to get back with one another some time in the near future. but now she blocked me on social media and she really looks happy with out me, i think she might be talking to someone else. i don’t want someone to come in after I’ve been by her side this entire time. what can i do to win her back and truly show her that I’m a changed man and have upgraded my self to a better me! i text her if she was doing ok after i saw a car accident that resembled her car. and she said I’m good.thanks so called her and left her a voicemail and said hey i wanted to meet u with you, I’m going to be busy this afternoon but i will make time to see her, of course she didn’t reply but now i feel stuck what should i do from here? should i let it go or stay presistain and make her really see I’m a better me. I’ve lost the connection to make her laugh and smile! And really want to connect with her again
There is this chick that I have liked for a while. I gathered the courage to ask for her number. She gave it to me but the problem is that she never answers her phone or texts but when she sees me she is all flirty. I am confused, kindly help me.
Did you leave a message? You cant just call and show as a missed call.
First, make sure she likes you. Is she flirty because you see her drunk, or is she sober and flirty? Does she have a flirty personality or just with you?
If she is sober and uniquely flirty with you, then move forward. Call and leave message.
The message should 1.state your name, 2. be direct, and 3. communicate a purpose.
Your attitude should be steady and indifferent. Sort of like you are saying, ‘I am making a point to call you and I know you want to hear from me.’ Whether she does or not, decide she does.
Here is an example message.
“Hi X. Its Y. Im heading to ______ tonight. Figured you would be there too. Later.” Or however you now say good-bye these days 🙂
Clear. Direct. Logical. Non-emotional.
Things not to do:
1. After stating your name, do NOT explain who you are, ie ‘the guy from last night’, ‘the one who asked for your number’…or the like. Its whimpy. Her name. Your name. Period. If she likes you, she will know.
2. No invitations via voicemail. Only ask her out via connecting by phone or in person.
If you get voicemail, then on the message, state the action you are doing. “I am going to ______”
This should be some place you suspect she may be..,,like a game or a concert, or party….
So you need to be strategic and wait to call before an event like this.
She will likely wonder if you would have asked her…had you reached her. But she wont know. This is good.
3. No personal sharing of feelings or emotions. So do NOT say, “hope to see you there!” if you say this, you just dug your grave. Now she knows you like her and she feels pressure.
So rather, only state the analysis. “I figured you’d be there.”
This shows you thought about her, but not with any real attachment. In fact, it shows a bit of a self-center focus. Which girls like…no matter what we say.
“I am going here. I figured youd be there.”
The call shows enough interest without you overtly stating feelings.
And this is all good.
Now she WILL be curious. Why did he call? She will suspect you like her and want her there, but she wont really know. Maybe you have another reason.
Upon hearing your message, she will either respond or show up at said event. If neither, she may not like you but at least you sounded like a confident guy. And you will have your answer.
You always need to know with risking anything…..while also putting you best effort forward. This is how you do it.
Also, do be ready if she picks up. Id actually stick to the same script, but just let her respond.
I hope this helps! Younger guys dont really know the art of the phone call anymore, and its so powerful. Less is always more.
Excellеnt article. I’m going throᥙgh many of
these issues as well..
Female here. Strategy 2. Call her. If after some texting for a time, a guy doesnt move to a call, I drop him. No exceptions.
Why? Text starts to bore me, so I stop responding. A masculine alpha male will always step up the pursuit. He always calls. The others just disappear. So its an effective weed out tool. Though understand, its not really a devised “test”. Its actually genuine. Because
really bored by him. After too much texting, Im bored. And he starts to seems too feminine or worse, I see him as a. coward.
Its just how it is. True or not.
So call her. The power of the voice should not be underestimated. Unless you ARE a coward, it shouldnt be a big deal.
Eric Marcus says
My name is Eric, I met this woman, and we were together for five months! She came to me and said to me that she cheated on me, and explained the details even showed me her text messages! She doesn’t call, she doesn’t text much. Two months after her telling me she cheated on me, I broke up with her, started to tell her how I felt. I always buy her roses because I love her very much! To show her forgiveness I bought her flowers and two giant teddy bears! She said to me that she didn’t like that! And, I know that women like it when you do nice things for them, I mean we are five months in our relationship. She told me she didn’t because she didn’t want to lose his friendship, then I started to think, “So then, what about this relationship?” I didn’t ask her that, I kept that to myself! I keep thinkin in my mind, that this woman didn’t even care about me enough to even think about me and how I feel. I don’t think she respects how I feel. I am used to dating older women that talk, so I talk and express my mind! And that’s not bad, in a relationship you have to open your mouth or the relationship never works. All I asked of her is honesty and communication, but she doesn’t talk to me! When I ask her why she doesn’t call me to talk she says “What are we going to talk about?” Completely different person now than when we meet in public! She admitted that its her fault, and now she says she isn’t ready for a relationship, and if we meet up, or if I want to see her then it has to be with a therapist! Why? Whats going on with this girl? I don’t understand. Should I go see her this Tuesday with a therapist? Or is that just a trap? She now wants to block my number! Why is she blocking my number? She is the one that cheated, I should be the one blocking her number? Ive been taking care of her being their for just as her family told me to do, so whats wrong? What am I doing wrong? Much help would be appreciated! It would be nice to have her back, I already told her that I have forgiven her, but she denies that and thinks that I am not over it! I am glad that she admitted that the break up is her fault! Now our relationship is tarnished, because their is no trust! What should I do?
Your strategies are great.. I tried the first one of it. And worked well. I appreciate, really. Thank you, Justin.
Hi, my name is Chito. Liked this girl online. I gave my cell number, she gave hers. Started to chat one day, continuously for 5 hours – a pleasant 5 hours. Since I was without sleep I passed out at a point. We were at the point of meeting up, but arrangement wasn’t finally agreed on. Her last text message before I conked out was “around what time perhaps”?
I woke up after some hours, texted her and told her what happened to me. Her only reply was then “hi”. Fine…unholy hour.
Next morning, greeted her. Asked her why I have been receiving text messages from the app she suggested for us to use. She said its from my cell contacts who would see me in the app once they log in.
Fine, she commented said that it seems like I have been receiving text messages from my so called “friends”. This was her last text message to me – a strong one. Here’s the catch now, I told her the reason why I liked her in the 1st place is because I don’t have any friends at all, and is seeking for one. This is true actually, honest! I’m pretty sure she misinterpreted my convictions, that turned out for her to be a lie, I’m sure!
My last text message to her followed the next day, confirmed my phone contacts and her comment, but not friends. No reply! That was my last text message to her. If I communicate with her again I would turn out aggresive-mannered already.
But I want to win her confidence back. But how? Sorry can’t call her. From where I come from the formal way to ring someone’s phone, especially with newly acquainted stranger, is to send a text message first. Else they won’t pick up.
Sorry for the long novel, But I need your most logical recommendation for this case. Another text message I would bet would be another silent reply – none! This may aggravate her the more. Best thing to try please…thanks.
I Met this woman on a Friday night out of town and after her denying me 2 times she came around and invited me to have a drink. So we had a few drinks and talked for 2 hours after the lounge had closed. I asked her if she wanted me to walk her to her hotel room and she said no. Within a few minutes she changed her mind. So i took her upstairs and we talked for another 30minutes outside her door. She ended up being from the same area i was from and i asked her if i could see her the next day. She Agreed…
We text half of the day and I picked her up later that night… We went to a few bars had a nice time and it was time to take her home. I asked her if i coukd cone up stairs and she said she was tired and then said” i see you just to fuck me but thats ok. Tonight isnt the night but i want to but not tonight.” I said ok cool. How would i know when. She replied “Trust me you’ll know” So i was cool with that. She asked me if i will see her again and insaid why not? She then got out the car and told me to get out and guve her a hug. We kissed half the night and she eanted me to kiss her again. I did and she walked away, turned around and said call me on your way home.
Problem was on my way home my phone died and the charger had a short. I lived a hr away. So the next morning i got a charger and text her. I was still was drunk from the night before and sent a long affectionate text about my phone and wanting to see her again and I wasnt mad about nit having sex but I didnt want her to leave so soon.
She hasnt responded and i decided not to text her back after.
Its only been a day since she hasnt replied. What do you think is the next step?
Justin Stenstrom says
Give it a few days and text her again. Act cool and like she didn’t ignore you.
Ive been dating this girl for 4 months we broke up I was needy didnt let go we had a few fightmonths after that I stopped contact , she broke up with her boyfriend now contacted me to hang out we hang out she was pretty defensive about hanging out with me.. said we should see each other less offen . After few days she contacted me again we hang out the next day I sent her a text with a joke and she just seen it didnt respond what should I do now how to aproach this
Hey..sup!..So im studying for my master in germany and i was living with that german girl for almost 2 years now. At the beginning i was busy like hell nd she also….but lately from like last july…we are talking so much ..we are getting closer…However i dont know wat the hell she wants..i ask her out ..she says no…next day she asks me out for a beer 😑😑😑 but with her friends…at the end i took an action. She was like prparing a small party at the house nd then leave to a pub. Once her friends arrive, I took off and she was surprised and askin my where am i goinn..i told i have another party bye…Next days she was like super cold…so i turned also super cold…once she felt im cold she started to bring subjects from nthin to speak to me but i kept ignoring her….nd then auddenly in one morning ..i surprised her hey beautiful nd grabbed her from her waist for seconds but nt hugged. She said she is good ..she smiled nd i took off…nd we kept playing like this ..until one night..i was with her in the livin room…i asked her very simple question. ..How come we dont any thing about each other while we are living together for 2 years….omg she turned nervous..she started to say wat do u mean nd bla bla bla..i explained my self nd she replied..do u want to know smthin specific about me….nd then she finally understood ( i guess german girls have their own ways to understand duh!) .then she said most probably because we didnt do alot of things together. I was like wtf ..i asked you out many times. At the end she changed the subject and she wanted to say dont be cold with me cuz im cold…i only become somtimes moody nd dont want to talk to anyone. I said ok nd we left the room stressed. . The next day we were like avoiding each other….The third day we i met her nd she was testing me if im angry but i intiated the conversation by being sarcastic that she can do watever she wants…nd then i told her i dont want to fight again lkke this fight. ..she said we didnt fight….I wanted to justderstand more. ..i told did u?..she said yea..she said that lately we r talkin too much nd we should spend more time together to know each other..after that conversation she started to feel more confident around me…she started to feel more secured when im around her…there was a problem and iwasnt in the house nd she kept staying in her room ..once i arrived nd she heard me talking to about that problem she went out from the room like whe was waitin for me or smthin. …idk what shall i do after that?…im super confused…
Nd now btw im working at that german comapny nd they are making very fancy party…i asked her before all of that to join me..she said those parties are boring but i wanna come with u but i need to think….nd then after this small fight nd after clearing it…i opened aprty subject again…she said ah yea when is it exactly? I wanna bring my dress…i said wtf i though its bkring nd u dont want to come..she said yea ill think later about it….as i said im super confused
I met this woman at a bar, we had an Intellectual conversation, she asked me if I wanted to meet her again, so we exchanged numbers, so I sent her a text on Monday and we agreed to meet again at the same bar. so I text her on time to meet there on Friday and she text me back to check back with her later in the week. so I text her Hello on Thursday and never got a response back till today.
Should I text her again or let It go.
I have already sent her a text for not replying to my messages..should send her again a joke about what I said in the recent messages or what?
Your article is spot on. I use similar strategies with women when they try and go distant. I’m usually a pro at it, but not with my lady friend here lately.
So my situation is unique. Almost this time last year I met a pretty cool chick at a bar, got her number, hung out a few times, and things went from there. We were hot and heavy all spring and summer. I liked keeping things casual, and thought she did too. I was doing excellent and not catching feelings, but she was catching the feelings hard for me. In July I told her I wanted to keep things casual, because I still wasn’t ready for a relationship (a long time talking for not officially dating, I know.). Well this hurt her feelings and she wanted to end things, and I agreed. I come back from vacationing a couple weeks later, and she’s lusting after me again. I give in, and we get right back in the swing of being passionately involved, and things never really ended to begin with. At this point I’m pretty much catching feelings, and I decided to start letting my guard down.
Fast forward two months later, and she all of sudden goes distant. Short messages, bails on plans, takes forever to respond, sometimes even takes days to respond back to messages. I approach her about it and she claims that she feels used. I then confess that I to have feelings and was just afraid to let my guard down. She doesn’t believe it I guess, and she goes back and forth with the distance. We’ve only had sex like 3 times since September. The last time was in early December. She even blocked me back in mid December for like two weeks over a serious argument, because she bailed on a romantic weekend getaway at the VERY last minute, and of course she eventually unblocked me and texts me again right at the start of the new year. I didn’t even expect to hear from her again.
I try and move on past her though, and she continues to hit me up once I give up texting her, because she simply doesn’t know how to reply or show interest. Once I back off, she ropes back in. She keeps giving me a dose of Intermittent Reinforcement as they call it. Then once I start texting again and showing interest, she disappears, bails on plans to meet up, etc.. As soon as I joke with her, or bring anything up about the distance, she accuses me of being “clingy”. A.) I think this chick is either seeing another guy, but wants to keep me on reserve. B.) Playing some serious mind games and torturing me for turning her idea of a relationship down back in the summer, or C.) she’s really confused.
Like I said, I’m usually a pro at these types of women as well, but this chick is a whole new animal.
Any advice? Because I’m at a loss for words. I feel like I’m the one my friends come to for female advice, but even I’m dumbfounded.
I have a bit different situation tough. I have no idea that it is funny or dramatic.
I met last Weekend with a girl at club. Everything gone really fast; so we spent the morning at my place. Problem is that i got too much eye contact and hug from her. It was a little bit too much for one nite stand though.
So i waited 2 days and write to her. And i asked her to go out for coffee. Since 2 days i did not get any answer. I would like to mean to her that she is not ordinary ons for me .
Actually i am pretty sure that she likes me, but i am pretty confused right now. And I do not wanna lose control.
Thanks for advice. Regards
Hello! I have a crush on this girl who I have known for a little while now and have gotten to know each other somewhat. Anyway I’m going to go say about the more recent stuff as I don’t want to leave a super crazy long comment. lol. Anyway we were doing a mock trial, and afterwards we were having pizza ranch and anyway that girl she kept saying that I needed to to come and it would be fun, and I was able to so I did. I had gotten her email before and sent her an email, she never responded though, yet later that day after we were done eating she said she got it. She actually introduced me to her dad, she would also keep telling telling me, that we were just friends, yet later she wanted to hug me mean me and I hugged her and told told her I liked her and she quite frankly said that she likes me. My deal is, why she didn’t respond to the email and what I should do or send her next. This is just a very short basic summary of the important stuff.
And this, people, is why we are lesbians
Justin Stenstrom says
No it’s why you are a hater and will never be happy.
I can’t tell if she is into me or not. I feel like she is but there are few things that hindering me back from taking it to the next step. I feel she compliments a lot. I can share with you the screen shots of our conversation. Long story and I can’t wait to know if she wants me or not. What should I do?
Hey all, hope you don’t mind a question from a lady! I’m worried I’ve given the “not that interested” vibe, and wanted to double check what you thought.
Long story short, great bumble date, we were lost in conversation for over three hours on a meet-up-for-drinks date. We parted ways, I hit the sack as soon as I got home, woke up to a lovely text from him from the previous night, very enthusiastic saying he wanted to meet again, and he’d be in touch after his two week trip to California. I replied I had a good time, added one or two references to in-jokes from the night before, and that I would catch up when he got back. In hind sight, I didn’t have much enthusiasm in my text. My girlfriends say follow it up with a casual but enthusiastic text, the guy friends say, no way, let him chase.
What is your take? what do you do when you get a lackluster text from a girl? You keep trying, right? I think this guy is pretty with it, not a beta, but not a full-on alpha. Any thoughts would be much appreciated!
Best “Strategy” for a girl not responding ?
Started talkin to girl again after we got into a stupid agruement a few years.she like everything i said recently ask if we would ever hangout and hasnt replied yet.its been a few days what should i do?
Justin Stenstrom says
Follow advice above.
Soumik Biswas says
I saw a girl and I fell for her. A day later I texted her Hi on insta.
She didn’t respond.
But when I checked her fb profile, I saw that she was online and didn’t reply. What should I do?
ok, I can’t understand the whole situation. We talked, etc and now, she barely responds to my texts. She said that she doesn’t even talk to her friends so often but I know she talks to her friends daily (one of the friend told me). I don’t know how to react and what to think as everything was great till new year. I just need a small advice because I’m getting really crazy and everyone around me can see that I’m not the same person at all.
Started texting and talking to a girl every day for about 2-3 weeks and we really hit off (I think). We got to meet for about an hour during this pandemic. She ended up getting sick and said she got a stomach virus/bug. This was about over a week ago and heard from her twice through text. I kept my distance and would send a text every other day and even tried calling. Anytime I call it rings and goes to voicemail. It’s been about a week since I’ve heard from her. I don’t know if she’s in the hospital or not considering she hasn’t said a word. Should I text/call and leave a message saying that I at least want to know if she’s alive? Don’t know if I should just give up or wait it out.
Matthew McCaul says
Hi so I have gotten to know this girl a little bit and she doesn’t live too far from me. It was a lot of messaging each another and then all of sudden she didn’t reply. But then she said the more she gets to know know someone she doesn’t want to meet them.
She asked me what I was doing this weekend but I’m working. But I will see what I can change just in case. But not sure what to do next.