Relationships are the hardest but most incredible and meaningful experiences you will ever have in life. Whether they are romantic, platonic, or familial, they are not meant to be easy. Often times we find ourselves questioning why we’re in certain relationships, and that is perfectly normal. Doubt, panic, fear, second guessing, and avoiding the problem all together are often tactics we find ourselves faced with.
In order to understand and make your relationship work, you need to do three simple things:
1. Put In The Effort.
This one is truly the simplest and easiest rule to follow. If the relationship is worth keeping or continuing, put in the effort.
Whether it’s being the first one to make contact or being the leader and going out of your way to show the other participant you’re serious about the relationship, it’s these actions that shine a light on who you are in the relationship. Unfortunately the other half of the relationship may not reciprocate and that is perfectly understandable.
Relationships rise and fall like peaks and valleys and there will be plenty of doubting and questioning from both parties, but you must also take into account the variables that are in play in each others lives. Don’t discount someone’s lack of communication or lack of effort in the relationship as they don’t care. Yes, it could very well be that, but often times there are other factors playing a role, and the key is to communicate the frustration and the feelings to the other person.
If you don’t communicate, the relationship will suffer and fall to the wayside. Ultimately, a relationship can end, but my advise is to never let it end on a bad note, don’t end it abruptly, or without resolution. People need closure and they should receive it.
2. Mean What You Say And Do What You Mean.
My biggest pet peeve in life is when people talk a big game but then fail to back it up. Often times we find ourselves making promises and overtures we know we can’t keep or live up to, but we continue to do so anyways.
This lack of honesty sets a tone and foundation for the rest of the relationship and can often lead to problems down the road. If we are speaking openly and honestly with each other, we know the expectations and reality of the relationship and situations we find ourselves in.
Failing to meet expectations and promises can severely damage trust and good faith with your other half and without trust, what does one really have? The saying goes “actions speak louder than words” and that is true in every case scenario.
I know from personal experience that I haven’t been the greatest friend, son, or boyfriend because I couldn’t live up to things I had promised or spoken about, and I often look back on those times and regret each and every one of them. It took a lot of time to regain the trust, for people to rely on me, and to look at me in a positive light.
Don’t throw away a great relationship by not following through on your promises.
3. Think Long Term.
The biggest component of any relationship is the longevity of it. You should never engage in a relationship with another individual that you don’t have plans to stick it out with.
Whether it is with friendship or a physical relationship, you’re investing time and effort into another human being and they are doing the same. You should be able to feel comfortable making plans with them for the long term, talking in the future tense, and seeing the relationship all the way through.
When we enter relationships with the idea of it being short term, or not as serious, we are setting ourselves up for failure, as well for a range of emotions that will attack our psyche and our thoughts long after the relationship has ended.
In romantic relationships, we should be thinking down the road for the future, while at the same time meaning what we say, and doing it as well. Communication and trust will take care of the rest. Think long term.
These three easy keys will allow any and all relationships you’re in to prosper but also find you truly evaluating what you want in your life.