When you first meet a high quality woman a lot of things run through your mind. You try to think of what to say and what to do to elicit the most attraction out of her. It’s natural; we all want to be liked by people. We are all social creatures and this makes complete sense. However, some guys tend to go overboard with this, and what ends up happening is they come across as less attractive. They jump through her hoops and make an unrequited investment in the woman without really knowing who she is. (See Needy Guys Finish Last Part One) I am here today to not only tell you to stop doing this, but also to tell you how to have her invest in you, and become more attracted while doing so.
Once you turn the tables around and actually have her investing in you, you will automatically be building attraction with a woman, as opposed to losing it. There have been numerous studies done on this idea. And, what has been found, not just in the dating world, but in life in general, is that the more a person invests in something, the more value they give it. So even if something has no actual value at all, (i.e. diamonds) if someone else invests into that particular thing, that person investing automatically perceives it as having higher quality. Whether that investment is time, labor, money, or pieces of gum, if an investment is made in something, that something will have more worth. A Harvard professor by the name of Francesca Gino has done very interesting work on this idea. She’s created studies explaining the psychology behind this idea. I recommend checking her work out.
So, what can you do if you are out and you have just met a woman at the bar whom you really like? How do you get her to invest in you, and perceive you as having more value? Well, there are 3 things you can start doing right away:
1. Have her Jump through your Hoops– No more jumping through her hoops and doing whatever she wants, in an effort to please her. Start being decisive and making decisions about things. Have a strong belief in yourself and stick by it no matter what.
2. Lead the Interaction- Laugh, tell jokes, and tease her a bit. Do all of these things and more. Also high-five her, hug her, playfully push her away at times; these things demonstrate great confidence in yourself.
3. Move her Around- If you are at a bar, move around. Try to have her follow you around the place, and lead her around wherever you are. Go to the dance floor with her. Go to another part of the bar with her to get a drink. Go outside with her for fresh air. Anywhere else that changes up the scenario is great. Leading her to different places will be a huge investment in her part, and will create much attraction for you.