I’ve had random women stab me in the heart, twist the knife, and watch my blood pour out all over the floor. Or at least that’s what it felt like. Approaching women is no easy task. Even the most seasoned player can crash and burn spectacularly. If you struggle with this, just know that it’s totally normal and you are not alone. We all feel your pain. I’ve found that the easiest way to approach a woman is to simply introduce yourself and ask if the two of you have met or how her night is going. That is all you need.
The list below contains 5 playful openers to have fun with, practice your interpersonal skills, and create a fun connection with someone you are attracted to.
1. Get Too Intimate Too Quickly
I know this sounds counter-intuitive. Asking someone what their hopes and dreams are for the future or how their love life is going right after you meet sounds awkward and creepy right? Maybe.
The key is to show her that you realize how ridiculous and awkward it is and that you are just joking. You are not actually looking for the answer to the question. You are just trying to put her on the spot and make her wonder if you are being serious or not.
After she gives me an umm….with a weird look you should smile and let her know that no, you’re not that creepy, you just wanted to see how she’d react.
2. Mock Brag About Yourself
A lot of guys will brag about themselves to impress women. Don’t be that guy.
However, girls will appreciate it if you mock the cocky guys she is used to listening to. The more overly cocky you are the better. (So she will know you’re just joking) “I don’t know if you know this but I’m pretty famous. I make tons of cash. Yeah, bitches love me.”
Mocking the cocky douche-a-saurus she hates to listen to can be a great way to make her laugh and show her you know how ridiculous and pathetic guys like that are.
3. Flip Gender Roles
This is always a little unexpected and can lead to some very fun encounters. Asking a girl if she minds buying you a drink (because that’s the only reason you talk to girls), or wondering out loud if she is trying to seduce you is a fun way to connect with her.
It shows that you know how interactions tend to work and who is expected to do what. Flipping it around can show her that the interaction doesn’t have to go how it usually does.
The two of you don’t have to be constrained by traditional gender roles in the seduction process. Have fun with it.
4. Let Her In On A Secret
Nobody likes secrets. Unless, of course, they’re in on it. Asking her if you can tell her a secret and then whispering conspiratorially can be a lot of fun.
It can be something you genuinely believe about her “I think you’re cute” or something funny about the context “That guy is dancing really weirdly”.
This allows you to bring her close to you and connect on this secret that no one else is in on. Not to mention the practical purpose it can serve if you are in a loud bar/club where conversation is tougher.
5. Make Fun Of Her Effect On You
If you truly believe a girl has a great smile or a cool style don’t be afraid to tell her that. In fact, you can even take it a step further and exaggerate how much it is affecting you. “Oh my god your smile. It’s too cute. I can’t even look at it.” Or “Your style. It’s intoxicating. I don’t even think I need this alcohol.”
Obviously you’re kidding, but you’re showing honest appreciation for her and doing it in a funny way. This should never be an “act” and you shouldn’t be giving insincere compliments. Tell her what you like about her as if you have no choice but to tell her. Like you wouldn’t respect yourself in the morning if you didn’t let her know how she is affecting you. Who knows. Maybe she’ll compliment you back.
I’ve found (after much painstaking trial and error) that to have the most success when approaching you should be fun, playful, and authentic. Girls just wanna have fun, after all. So next time your out approaching women, try these 5 playful openers!